


Ice Barrage

by AlexJane



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blackwatch Era, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating, Prologue, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22354603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexJane/pseuds/AlexJane
Summary: Mei-Ling Zhou has always found comfort in Overwatch's Climatology department, but Commander Morrison was keeping a watchful eye.He noticed something in Mei, and he also noticed something in her track record. She was known to create instruments capable of controlling temperature, able to freeze bodies with only a few seconds of physical contact. What better use for potentially deadly machines than in the covert, highly tactical Blackwatch division?When Morrison attempted to recruit Zhou, she denied. Violence just wasn't up her alley. She was a scientist. Abandoning her studies on climate observation to take part in a mission she might not survive? All signs pointed to no.But a few bribes later, and Mei was coaxed with the promise of better working conditions in Ecopoint: Antarctica. Mei joined Blackwatch, grouping up with two soliders (one of which who hates her), a compassionate doctor, and a cowboy.
Relationships: Emily/Lena "Tracer" Oxton, Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Mei-Ling Zhou, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Ice Barrage: Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Every header is a POV change. Thank you for reading.

MEI  
❅

I had heard great things about Fareeha Amari.

When I was recruited to Blackwatch, Commander Morrison spoke of her as if she were a child.

"Fareeha and her mother were inseparable! Two fighting spirits, with the same flame of justice in their eyes. That's what I saw in Ana." He looked out of his office window, his warm smile flickering dim, eventually transitioning to a frown. "Well, that's what I _used_ to see in Ana. She's gone. They aren't so inseparable, not anymore. Little Fareeha is all on her own now."

When I walked into the Blackwatch base, I expected to be greeted by a sweet, young girl. An ambitious, invigorating partner.

But when Emily, an off-duty Blackwatch agent, led me to her, I immediately noticed Fareeha was not as... _innocent_ as Morrison had described.

"'Ello, Amari!" Emily tapped a sulking Fareeha on the shoulder, "Ms. Zhou just arrived from the airport, come say hello!"

Fareeha turned to look at me, and I think we were studying each other with equal amounts of great intensity. Fareeha's hair was bone-straight, cut to her jawline. Her physique made her femininity questionable, so did her menacing glare. She didn't look as ambitious and friendly as everyone described. Was this the wrong girl?

She had a tattoo decorating her left eye, the Eye of Horus. She squinted at me."You don't do much besides stare into a screen, do you, weather girl?"

I looked away, heat immediately rushing to my face. _Weather girl_? Weather girl? Doesn't she know Morrison cherry-picked me out of dozens of _assassins_ and _sharpshooters _?__

__"I'm...um…" Feeling Fareeha's eyes on me rendered me useless to proving my well thought out points. "I'm a climatologist actually…"_ _

__"Fancy word for squishy little weather girl." Fareeha stood, and stuck her hand out, "I'm Fareeha, _clearly_." _Fareeha was stone faced._ _ _

___I shook her hand, "I’m Mei-ling Zhou, but just ‘Mei’ is fine…"_ _ _

___Emily gave a warm chuckle, "Well! Fareeha won't be your only team member!" She put a hand on Fareeha's shoulder, "Where are Shimada and Ziegler?"_ _ _

___"I told you, Shimada prefers _Hanzo_. And Ziegler's probably with him, doing a mental check-up before next week's mission."_ _ _

___"Well, perhaps we could pay a visit, right Mei?"_ _ _

___"Ah...um...yes! Perhaps!"_ _ _

___"Well, have fun, Zhou. " Fareeha dismissed me, and went back to laying her head on the table. I stared, while she couldn't see. She had her eyes closed, in a sad, reminiscing way. She didn't seem 'there', she seemed as if she were escaping._ _ _

___Emily looked for a while, too, then sighed deeply, "Best to leave her be, eh? Let's go find Hanzo and Ziegler."_ _ _

___"Oh…" I said, taking one final peek at _The Elusive Fareeha Amari_ , "Alright."_ _ _

___ _

___HANZO  
↣  
"Does it make you feel isolated from others?"_ _ _

___"Not many other men can say they've killed their own brother."_ _ _

___I saw Angela's defeated eyes as she stared at her notepad. It was funny really, I had never been to a psychiatrist who _actually_ took notes. Did this mean Angela cared? Or did she just want to fit the 'perfect little therapist' picture?_ _ _

___"You weren't in control, Hanzo. The Clan was. You have to remember what they did to you."_ _ _

___"They were my family, doctor, weren't they just simply raising me?"_ _ _

___"Family or not, they took advantage of you after your father died. They tried to get you to condition Genji too."_ _ _

___She thinks it's easy for me to justify what I did._ _ _

___I saw his blood. His tears. I heard the death rattle that shook from his lips, the fear in his eyes that lingered until the last blow of my sword._ _ _

___When the Shimada Clan made me kill my brother, I complied. It was only after I slept over the heinous act that realized how disgusting it was. I remember the way the Clan saw what I had done. I had killed someone who was dragging us behind. An unreliable, wayward spirit. They were wrong. I had killed someone I grew up with. Someone who's obnoxious little voice rang in my ears every time he interrupted my studies. I had killed my little brother, and I missed his stupid, annoying vernacular every second of my life. A life I knew I didn't deserve._ _ _

___Angela doesn't know what kind of monster I was. The monster I still am. And if she did, she wouldn't be trying to help me._ _ _

___"Well, I suppose that's enough for today, Hanzo."_ _ _

___"Wait, Ziegler? " I winced, "I-I fear leaving this room will expose me to...unwanted judgement."_ _ _

___"From the other Blackwatch members? They don't know a thing. I'm the only one."_ _ _

___"They'll see it...in my eyes, the fear. It's still in my head, they'll see it, and they'll _know_."_ _ _

___"Hanzo? Have you been...paranoid?"_ _ _

___I clutched the sides of my head, "How could I not? My sins haven't caught up to me, isn't that weird, Angela? I escaped. I escaped my wrongdoings, and now I'm here. Overwatch is giving me refuge. The Clan isn't looking for me, Angela? Overwatch isn't a scheme to slowly kill me? Send me on suicide missions until I explode to bits?"_ _ _

___"Hanzo. No."_ _ _

___Her stern tone caught my attention, I raised my head, still clutching my hair as if I were going to rip it out. She shook her head, "You're safe here. The Clan isn't after you, Overwatch isn't either."_ _ _

___She looked over my shoulder, and it took me a while to realise she was reacting to fast, timid knocks on her office door._ _ _

___"Oh dear, they probably think our time is up. It technically should be. We're over twenty minutes."_ _ _

___"Am I that hopeless?"_ _ _

___"Hopeless? Heavens no! You'll just…" she tossed her head forward, tying her hair in a failed bun. "You'll take some time to heal. That goes for all wounds."_ _ _

___Her words left me unsettled as she opened the door. I recognised Emily's sharp, cheery voice, but another girl stood by her. Small, seemingly harmless._ _ _

___But the unfamiliar always seem harmless._ _ _

___“This is Mei. She'll be assisting with the Italian raid in the upcoming dispatch!"_ _ _

___I heard as Angela greeted Mei with her confectionery enthusiasm. Angela always made people feel welcome, comforted._ _ _

___I stood. Walking to the doorway and blinking at Mei. She smiled nervously, letting out a small whimper as she stuck out her hand, "I-I like your hair."_ _ _

___I ran my fingers through my hair. I'd been growing it out since I was younger. One of the few relics of my past I was comfortable keeping. I smiled lightly._ _ _

____Keep smiling, Hanzo. She's scared of you._ _ _ _

___"Thank you." I said, opting out of the handshake by waving my hand, "I like yours too. It's has...nice form."_ _ _

___Emily and Mei glanced at each other, and Mei smiled, somehow even more anxiously than the first time, "I think we're sharing a bunk, Hanzo?"_ _ _

___I felt a shiver down my spine, "Sorry, sharing?"_ _ _

___Emily giggled, "I thought you could use a roomie!"_ _ _

___Angela noticed my rising discomfort, and stepped between me and Emily, "Oxton, You didn't consult me? His mentor? You can't possibly think that sticking him in a room with some stranger would be okay!"_ _ _

___"Ziegler, we're low on sleeping quarters, honestly."_ _ _

___"Then make someone sleep in a hotel or something! My patient isn't ready for-"_ _ _

___"I actually might be."_ _ _

___Angela turned to me, her face spread with worry, " You think? You just expressed your, uh, _worries_ about other individuals."_ _ _

___"Mei seems...kind. I'm sure it'll work out."_ _ _

___I looked to Mei. I felt bad that she was in the middle of all of this. I gave another non-threatening smile, "I look forward to staying in the same quarters, Mei."_ _ _

___"Ah...same here...Hanzo!"_ _ _

___Emily had begun to profusely apologise, but Angela nipped it in the bud, forcing the excitable girl and the new recruit out of her office. When they were gone, she sighed deeply._ _ _

___"You didn't have to do that for Mei."_ _ _

___“She was uncomfortable. I'm not a child, I can handle a roommate."_ _ _

___"She’s more than just a _roommate_. She's new. She'll try and get to know you, she'll have different routines than you. You'll be able to handle that change? "_ _ _

___"The Clan never coddled me. I'm used to uncomfortable situations." I grabbed my bag from Angela's desk. "I'm going to have to go back to clean up, though. I wasn't expecting company."_ _ _

___"Just remember, Hanzo." She looked as if she were trying to smile, but ended but giving an exasperated grumble, "No one out there is watching you."_ _ _

___Lovely. Remind the paranoid they think they're being watched._ _ _

___No, she hadn't done anything wrong. She was trying to help._ _ _

___Trying to help someone she didn't know was a lost cause._ _ _

___ _

___MEI  
❅_ _ _

___Emily led me to the building where the living quarters were located, her red hair whipping behind her in the wind. For a clueless girl, she had a sharp appearance. She looked objective, as if she were running the place. But, with calling Hanzo "Shimada" and rooming me with him, it didn't seem as if she really did have a firm grasp on things after all._ _ _

___She pulled a keycard out of her pocket. A black, five inch card with the Blackwatch logo. Under "NAME", it says "ZHOU 001"_ _ _

___"This card is temporary. Once we figure out your role in the squad, it'll be updated with your official career position and a picture of you. You'll need the card to get into most areas in the facility. If you lose it, just ask Shimada...uh…Hanzo for help."_ _ _

___I nodded, taking the card, "Do I go to my room?"_ _ _

___"Yes! I actually have to instruct a training in a few minutes, so you're on your own until you catch up with your roommate." Emily gave me a soft pat on the back, "I'm glad Morrison is giving people with actual souls a chance. You're going to do great here."_ _ _

___She winked, and bumbled off in the other direction._ _ _

___I stared at the Blackwatch living quarters. They were bulky, clearly expensive to make. They reminded me of my Eco-point back in Antarctica, probably made from the same materials. I walked along the pavement, past a few plaques with different names._ _ _

___The usual suspects were there. Jack Morrison, Ana Amari, Emily Oxton. There were a few other names I simply didn't recognize. Hammond, with no last name, for example. I shrugged it off as an incomplete plaque, and moved on._ _ _

___I made it to my room (R22, third floor). When I swiped my key card and walked inside, I immediately noticed how _lived in_ Hanzo's room really was._ _ _

___My supposed bed had a quiver filled with bows hanging from the headboard. There was also a dart board with one dart struck on the bullseye, the rest of the darts were stabbed into the carpet. The television played at a low volume, some sort of reality show about an omnic woman._ _ _

___I noticed a tattooed arm hanging off the bottom bunk, and realized it was Hanzo, snoring softly, clutching a pillow with his other arm._ _ _

___I checked a digital clock above the television. 8:59 p.m. It figures he'd be asleep._ _ _

___I looked at my luggage, all large, metal instruments and clothes. Putting it all away would surely wake Hanzo up. Plus, I was way too over-stimulated to even begin to function like a normal human being. I shrugged, leaving the luggage by the door, and climbing up to my bunk. I took off my shirt and laid face first into the pillow. Falling asleep to the hushed commentary from the tv._ _ _

___ _

___HANZO  
↣_ _ _

___"Oh my gosh! Oh gosh!"_ _ _

___I rubbed my eyes, waking up to the sound of Mei pacing back and forth, slippers tapping the floor in erratic steps._ _ _

___I sat up in bed, "Are you alright?"_ _ _

___"My luggage is gone, and the door is unlocked! " Mei had her hands covering her eyes, her glasses lifted into the part of her hair, "I don't know what happened! I never let myself lose things!"_ _ _

___Mei was distressed, fixing her glasses back onto her face and attempting to explain herself more._ _ _

___I stood from the bed, stifling a yawn. “Zhou, I very much doubt that it was your fault.” I looked at the door, very clearly slid open. “Someone from the outside must have come in.”_ _ _

___Mei looked at me, unnerved._ _ _

___It _was_ definitely a terrifying thought. Someone intruding, someone spying. The thought grew in my head. Why had someone snuck in? How? I looked away from the door and shook my head._ _ _

___No one is after _me_._ _ _

___“If all they took was your suitcase, I suppose we’ll have to find you some new clothes.”_ _ _

___“But what about my equipment? Morrison only called me here for my weapons. If I don’t have them, I’m nothing!”_ _ _

___“I’m sure he saw some other qualities in you. You’re weak, tender. He wouldn’t have hired someone like you if he didn’t see compassion or potential.”_ _ _

___“I don’t know…” she sat on my bunk, crossing her legs, “...so you said you have clothes?”_ _ _

___“If you don’t mind looking like former mercenary, yes, I do.”_ _ _

___Mei gave a small giggle, looking up at the closet, “No, I don’t mind! A bit of a niche though.”_ _ _

___I led her to my closet, which requires a keycard to open (my own requested precaution). Clothes that I never touched were hung neatly, my actual preferred wardrobe messily folded in drawers below. Mei delicately touched a blue kyudo-gi, turning back to me, “They’re so...clean,/i >.”__ _

____“Well, I used to wear them when I would practice archery, before Blackwatch.” I looked at the array of tops. “Not so much anymore.”_ _ _ _

____“You’d be fine with me wearing one? You’re sure?”_ _ _ _

____“So long as you return it when we find your luggage.”_ _ _ _

____Mei smiled the most pure, confident smile I had seen from her thus far. She took the kyudo-gi from the hanger and clutched it to her chest, “Thank you so much, Hanzo!”_ _ _ _

____We picked out a pair of pants for her and discussed my morning routine with her. The times we woke up were relatively the same (she prefers 5:30, I prefer 6:00). We decided that she would shower first in the mornings, and whoever had the energy would clean the room. Once we settled on a schedule, she went into the shower. I decided to kill time by brushing my teeth._ _ _ _

____Before I had even entered the bathroom, there was a knock on the door._ _ _ _

____“Shimada? I ain’t ever known you for someone who disliked a bit of privacy.”_ _ _ _

____I rolled my eyes, walking to the doorway._ _ _ _

____“What do _you_ want, Mcree?”_ _ _ _

____Mcree was a pilot of Blackwatch, thus making him higher-ranked than normal strike members. But a fancy title and a shiny badge didn’t mean I respected the man. If anything, it made me hate how annoyingly immature he was._ _ _ _

____For reference, on my first day, he immediately clocked me as “too serious for the workplace” (his words) and requested that I go back to my boring life of meditation and “whatever heck else you white-bread, wet blanket, sour puss used to do.” (again, his words)_ _ _ _

____Not to mention he plays _cowboy dress-up_._ _ _ _

____“Don’t get so defensive so quickly there, Shimada.”_ _ _ _

____“I hate that name.”_ _ _ _

____“Well I happen to think it’s pretty, darlin’”_ _ _ _

____I grabbed him by his arm, “ _What do you want, Jesse Mcree_?"_ _ _ _

____He squirmed, “Er...calm down there, sweetheart. Just lettin’ you know I’m the pilot for your next mission...” He managed to snatch his arm out of my hand, smiling triumphantly, “... _and_ that you and your roommate are invited to a good ol’ mandatory icebreaker activity at 9:00.”_ _ _ _

____“Fine. Zhou and I will be there.”_ _ _ _

____Mcree seemed to linger in the doorway, wanting to say more._ _ _ _

____“S-see you there.” He scratched his neck, then shot crooked finger-guns before booking it down the hall._ _ _ _

____He was annoying, but he was _weird_ too._ _ _ _

____Mei eventually left the shower. The kyudo-gi was a bit tight on her, but it was nothing an overcoat couldn’t hide._ _ _ _

____I informed her of the team exercise at 9:00, and she seemed indifferent._ _ _ _

____“Yesterday was sorta awkward. I honestly think I got off on the wrong foot with Fareeha.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, _her_? She’s perpetually annoyed. It's just how she is. When you’re on her _good_ side, you’ll get teased. If you’re on her bad side, she’ll sabotage. There’s really no winning.”_ _ _ _

____“I just didn’t expect her to be so stand-offish!” Mei clenched her fists, “I heard so many nice things about her! I guess I just didn’t expect to be mocked!”_ _ _ _

____“Well, expect it. But _don’t_ give her ammunition.”_ _ _ _

____“She used my career as an insult, I’m pretty sure she fishes for it.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, but she’ll run out of ideas, then she’ll shut up.”_ _ _ _

____Mei looked clueless, but nodded, “I’ll try.”_ _ _ _

____I’ve had a few run-ins with Fareeha. I don’t like her. She’s always trying to figure me out, trying to peer behind the curtain. However, due to the heavy brainwashing throughout my childhood, I was able to keep quiet about The Clan to strangers._ _ _ _

____But still, her inquisitive stare is enough to enrage me._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____FAREEHA  
𓂀_ _ _ _

____I was told by Mcree to be at the mission planning room at 9:00, so I left at 8:00. Apparently I had to be at some stupid “get to know your teammates” type thing._ _ _ _

____I joined Blackwatch to fight, not to get cuddly with the other members. That’s one mistake my mom made, she let her emotions and compassion interfere with her duties, and when the system betrayed her, she betrayed them back as some sort of retribution._ _ _ _

____I wasn’t going to let a _job_ invoke the most useless human function in my heart. I just simply wasn’t going to let it happen._ _ _ _

____I met Angela in the planning room. Since my quarters were close to the Medical building, we often walked to places together if we had common destination. She was the one person who didn’t make me want to shove my keycard in my throat._ _ _ _

____When we arrived, Mcree accosted us about being early. We sat, waiting for Hanzo and the new girl._ _ _ _

____“I met Mei-Ling Zhou yesterday. She was very sweet.”_ _ _ _

____“Ugh, don’t get me _started_ on Zhou. Her stupid shy act pisses me off.”_ _ _ _

____“Act? Did she do anything malicious?”_ _ _ _

____“Not _yet_.” I looked at the ceiling, “But she just gives me a weird vibe.”_ _ _ _

____“Perhaps you’re just getting used to a new Blackwatch member?” Angela smiled at me, “Change can cause your mind to become irrational. It’s normal to suspect-"_ _ _ _

____“No. Don’t do that, Ziegler. _Don’t_ psychoanalyze me. Save your years of useless medical schooling for your patients.”_ _ _ _

____“I just don’t see why you should push a new concept away before you-”_ _ _ _

____“Just **stop, Ziegler**!”_ _ _ _

____Angela piped down._ _ _ _

____Just then, Hanzo and Mei opened the door to the room._ _ _ _

____And Mei was wearing Hanzo’s clothes._ _ _ _

____“Shimada! Zhou!” Mcree stood from the long table, his hat falling off as he cheered excitedly, “At last! We can finally get started with the festivities!"_ _ _ _

____“Looks like Hanzo and Mei have already _indulged_ in _festivities_.” I turned to Mei, tugging at her shirt, “First night and you’ve already got a shirt? I’m impressed, Zhou.”_ _ _ _

____Mei blinked at me, then shuddered in realization, “No! No! Nothing like that at all! My luggage was stolen! All of it! I-I swear-”_ _ _ _

____“Uh-huh, sure.” I crossed my arms, “Mcree, aren’t certain _relations_ prohibited in Blackwatch?'_ _ _ _

____Mcree looked at me, unamused, “Now, let’s not jump the gun here, Amari. I know full well Hanzo wouldn’t violate any major rules, and Morrison has vouched for Mei. She’s trustworthy.”_ _ _ _

____Mei gave Mcree a smile. I wanted to vomit._ _ _ _

____Hanzo and Mei sat down, and Mcree explained the “rules” of the activity._ _ _ _

____We would all have to say our name, age, Blackwatch position, career, favorite color, and the reasoning behind that color. The game would go clockwise from Mcree, making the order Mcree, Angela, Me, Hanzo, and Mei-Ling._ _ _ _

____“The name’s Jesse Mcree, I’m thirty one, I’m a pilot for you _wrecks _at Blackwatch, and in my free time, I farm on a little plot of land I own in New Mexico.”___ _ _ _

______“Psh, you don’t own any land!” I said, “Stop trying to impress us with your little adultish lies.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s true! And It’s bigger than this whole facility!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mcree’s exasperated face was enough to make me burst out laughing._ _ _ _ _ _

______“...Anywho, my favorite color’s red. Reminds me of cherry pie.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Angela did a polite little clap, then shyly put her hands in her lap when she realized no one else was clapping._ _ _ _ _ _

______“My name is Angela Ziegler, I’m 29. I am a mental consultant and nurse here at Blackwatch, but on the upcoming Italy mission, I'm simply first aid. Back in Switzerland, I was a head surgeon at a respectable hospital.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Woah! A surgeon?” Mei said, she let her palms clutch the table in excitement, “That’s ambitious!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes, well, it took much strife. Leaving my home to help the ill around the world, though, it’s worth the healthy smiles.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______"It's admirable!" Mei beamed. I was fairly certain I saw her drool._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh!" Angela clasped her hands together, "My favourite color is yellow! It reminds me of the sun, and of happiness, and health, and prosperity, and -"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Okay my turn." I smirked at Angela, she sulked. "My name is Fareeha Amari. I'm 24, and I'm a private security guard, employed by Helix Security international. Here, though? I'm just here to blow enemy heads off." I turned my chair to face Mei, "And my favourite color? In the whole wide world? Ice Blue. Because it's the color of Weather Girl's little luggage set."_ _ _ _ _ _

______I saw Mei's realisation in the form of red spreading across her face. She pointed at me, "It was _you_!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yeah, no shit."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I really need my luggage, Fareeha! Seriously! There are fragile devices in there! Not to mention my clothes, my phone, my wallet! I need it!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Why do you think I took it?" I sneered, "You've gotta earn that stuff back. Prove you belong here. Go on, introduce yourself."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mei sunk in her chair, "You'll give me my luggage back if I introduce myself?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes."_ _ _ _ _ _

______I saw as her expression eased, "Okay...alright...alright. My name is Mei-Ling Zhou. I am 24 years old, and I am a weapons consultant, combatist, and frontline cover for the squad I am to assist in Italy in a few days time. In my normal life? I'm a climatologist for Overwatch, and I like it, actually! I enjoy my career, and I know I'm multifaceted, and I could be doing anything else with my life; but I chose to study the atmosphere and the soil of our planet. I enjoy managing temperatures, I enjoy helping our Earth grow and evolve to its best version of itself. No matter how much people like Fareeha try to berate me about my career, I'm going to keep doing it. I don't care what you think of me." Mei crossed her arms, "Oh, and my favourite color? Ice blue. Because it reminds me of the sky, full of limitless potential. Sometimes it's sunny, sometimes there's rain, sometimes there's snow, but as long as it's daytime, you can still expect that the sky is a light, icy blue."_ _ _ _ _ _

______She squinted at me, but tears squeezed out of the corners of her eyes, down her red cheeks. Angela 's mouth gaped, and Hanzo smiled tenderly at Mei, rubbing her shoulder gently._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Can't you see this is all bullshit?" I stood, putting my hands on my hips, "She's not a fucking weapons consultant, she's not a combatist! She's a geek who's a slut for the planet!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Amari!" Jesse walked towards me, "You, me, Emily's office, now."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mcree stomped out, the spurs of his boots jangling down the hall._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hanzo and Angela were consoling a crying Mei. She looked at me, and I could tell she was truly sad. Probably heartbroken._ _ _ _ _ _

______"That's life, Zhou." I walked out of the room to follow Mcree._ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei hasn't quite gotten used to Blackwatch's gritty, crude atmosphere, but she's willing to try. Unfortunately, the mission she's dispatched on goes horribly wrong, and the consequences are immediate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every header is a POV change. Contains mention of suicidal thoughts. Thank you for reading.

MEI  
❅  
Before I knew it, it was two days before the dispatch to Italy.  
I had been told the basic instructions of the mission, and the background of our enemy.  
Talon, a terrorist organization, had apparently destroyed one of Overwatch’s facilities in Oslo. This resulted in the deaths of dozen Blackwatch Agents, and the injury of about a hundred more. The attack was the result of an attempt to abolish Overwatch, an attempt carried out by Antonio Bartalotti.  
Bartalotti was a powerful Italian businessman, and had powerful, undeniable ties to Talon and the attack.  
Morrison had claimed affirmative action should have been taken back when the attack happened, three years ago. Apparently Lena Oxton, the former Strike Commander for Blackwatch, had been reluctant to make Blackwatch, and consequently Overwatch, known for resolving issues in a sadistic and unfavorable manner. Lena had later suffered an unfortunate accident, which resulted in her wife, Emily, temporarily resigning Lena's status on her behalf.  
So, with Lena gone, and Fareeha taking her place, Morrison demanded a revenge strike on Bartalotti’s office in Rome.  
Things were tense between Fareeha and I. Ever since my outburst, the mocking turned into pure, uncut hostility. Hanzo told me not to mind it too much, but how was I supposed to ignore it when she very clearly dreaded the moment that I entered the same room as her?  
I stayed in my quarters most of the time, except when I was forced out by mission planning and mental health check-ups.  
If I had learned anything about Blackwatch thus far, it was that they really valued the mental health of their soldiers.  
Angela assured me it was normal to be nervous for the upcoming dispatch.  
“You’ve never been in a highly-confrontational setting, Mei-Ling. Your anxieties may stem from assimilating to a new lifestyle, having to live here at Blackwatch rather than your Ecopoint. You may also be reluctant about hurting anyone. Do you find yourself hesitant about ending the lives of others?”  
It was a lot of information thrown at me at once. Angela definitely enjoyed reading people. I stared at the floor, “Well, I assumed I’d assist more than actually attacking. Demobilising enemies, creating obstacles, those sorts of jobs.”  
“Yes, but what happens when you have to defend yourself, and no one is around to do so for you?”  
“I’d...have to hurt the person attacking me?”  
“Precisely.” She smiled. Which was odd, considering the topic.  
“But that’s so wrong. People have lives of their own, even if they are Talon Agents.”  
“The term ‘Talon Agent’ is synonymous with ‘Terrorist’, Mei. They chose to work for an organization made to walk over others in order to achieve selfish desires.” Angela set down her notepad, and grabbed my hand, “Look, on my first mission, I was reluctant about the violent nature of the job, too. But, I try to remember who we’re fighting. Why the targets they have to be hurt. Our job isn’t to kill people. Our job is to relieve others in Talon’s grasp.”  
I contemplated this as I walked back to my room. I wondered how things got so bad for overwatch. We weren't necessarily military. In fact, Overwatch was mainly composed of scientists and doctors. We wouldn't even need to fight if it weren't for Talon and other various political enemies. What is Talon's grudge, anyway? Who would want to stop scientific endeavours?  
I was deep in thought as I slid my keycard and walked inside, being careful enough to scan it again once the door was shut (That's how Fareeha snuck in my first day, apparently the doors don't lock automatically).  
The click of the lock caused Hanzo to look up from the weaponry he was packing for tomorrow's dispatch.  
"Oh, hello." He said. He zipped up his sieve and tossed it on the bed, "You look lost."  
"Lost?"  
"In your head, you know?" His index fingers tapped his temples, "Thinking?"  
"Ah! I guess I am?" I shoved my keycard into my pocket and sighed, "The whole 'people see Overwatch as a threat' concept has me confused. I don't see a reason for attacking us, the reason for stopping something that's done so much good?"  
Hanzo bit his cheek and shrugged, "Those who gain privilege over the oppression of others are disgusted by us. As long as we're attempting to help nations, help the disadvantaged, it takes from the upper-class, it takes from those who turn a blind eye to people in pain."  
"But why? What's the point of ignoring people in pain if you have enough money to fix it? "  
"They don't care, simply put. They don't have to, either."  
The conversation stopped there.  
I guess I didn't fully understand it. Not like everyone else did. But when Hanzo didn't want to talk about something, he made it abundantly clear by shutting down the topic entirely. It's surprising how much you pick up on when you live with someone.  
Hanzo had begun to grow irritable in the mere days prior to the dispatch. He preferred accompanying me to meetings and training, but seemed bothered by everyone else. He wasn't mean, perse, just tired? Burnt out?  
Fareeha liked to joke that he wasted his energy keeping all his secrets hidden.  
"It's gotta be pretty damn draining shoving skeleton after skeleton in your closet." She remarked.  
I did wonder what he used to be. What he used to do before Overwatch; But I didn't want to pry. He valued his privacy, valued his boundaries. Breaking those barriers could potentially break a friendship, the only friendship I had in Blackwatch.  
I did ask him about the sudden fatigue.  
"My lack of energy comes from long hours of preparation. This operation has been planned for only a few weeks, I suppose I'm just simply not ready yet." He had been making adjustments on his bow. He stared at it intently, "Do not let my lack of sleep keep you up tonight, Mei-Ling. You are a very valued asset in tomorrow's dispatch."  
"You're important too." I reminded him.  
"I suffer from insomnia, but insomnia doesn't make me suffer."  
That was that, as usual I climbed up into my bunk, the pressures of the evening, and upcoming fears, appeared and faded in my mind until they were nothing but abstract dreams. 

HANZO  
↣  
I feared for myself more than I did Mei-Ling. She had been fast asleep in the bed for about five hours now. It was 4:00 A.M, and if I was honest, I couldn’t sleep even if I had wanted to.  
I have dreams sometimes. Dreams about Genji, mostly. I avoid sleep to avoid the visions, but tonight, I felt guilty. How was I supposed to be alert for the dispatch when I was sleep-deprived?  
I tried. Believe me, I did, but whenever I closed my eyes, thoughts began to rush in a chaotic blur, jolting me back awake. I eventually turned on the TV, settling for the ambient noise of a British drama as I plucked darts out of the carpet and played a solo game of Chase the Dragon.  
Into the middle of my third game, I heard a quiet, yet hostile discussion from outside my quarters. I muted the TV and listened.  
"It ain't like that at all, Emily. I'm just worried 'bout him." I heard. It was very clearly Mcree.  
"You know full well what you have to do. We can't risk putting him in danger. "  
"Fine. I'll talk to him. But he hates my guts! So don't expect no miracles."  
I heard Emily's footsteps as she walked away, but Mcree stayed at my door, and knocked.  
When I answered, the first thing I noticed was the absence of his hat. He smiled, clutching his hands together and sighing, "Shimada, we've gotta go over a few things."  
"Things?" I said. I knew what he was alluding to, I knew what Emily wanted from me. "I am okay, Jesse. It's not as if I have hidden anything from you."  
"What if your personal struggles somehow...hinder the fight?"  
"I snap out of it and get the job done. I'm not far gone."  
"I just want you to be careful, Shimada." He put his hand on my shoulder. I didn't expect his hand to be comforting. I assumed his hands would be rugged, cold, as unpleasant as he was. They were actually warm and soft, the tips of his fingers switching on some sort of safety signal. I looked back up to him. He smiled, holding my other hand. "I'm gonna be real honest with you. I don't know what's up with you. You've definitely got some sort of backstory or somethin, seeing as you ended up here alone, scared, and ramblin' ‘bout redemption."  
I winced, "You remember my arrival?"  
"It was a monumental blip in the history of Blackwatch. The day you walked through those doors, you showed us what a hero looks like. You do amazin' work on ambushes and sting operations. You're a blessin' disguised as a bitter, uptight prick."  
I shook my head.  
With Genji Shimada's blood staining my soul, I wasn't a blessing or a hero. Just a murderer.  
"I cannot tell you the many, many reasons why your sentiments are invalid." I mustered a smile as I lifted his hand off of my shoulder, "But I do appreciate it, Cowboy."  
Mcree looked absent-mindedly at me, his hand still holding mine. He gripped it tighter, "We should move this conversation. somewhere your roommate isn't hittin' the hay."  
He gestured to Mei, who rustled gently in her sleep.  
"There's more to this discussion?"  
"What'd you think I was here to do? Psychoanalyze you, and then dip?" Mcree gave a nervous chuckle, letting go of my hand and shrugging, "I don't know what you heard outside the door, but I was already on my way here. I did Emily's little plan, and now it's my turn to enact my agenda. I didn't get to know you during the icebreaker, so..." Mcree stood, taking off his hat and holding it to his chest in a cheesy sort of curtsy, "Hanzo Shimada, would you grace me with the honor of an early mornin' walk around the practice range?"  
I looked at him. The only light in the room came from the TV, casting a faint, ever-changing glow around Mcree. His smile widened, and somehow, that broke me.  
But then I felt exhaustion crashing into my soul  
"I'm afraid I cannot indulge you, Mcree." I said, "I haven't slept. I wouldn't want to sabotage tomorrow's strike."  
Mcree frowned mockingly, "Aw, maybe next time then? Or the next time after?"  
" If we make it out alive, yes. Next time. "  
Mcree smiled, the light from the TV moving over his face as he walked to the door. Soon, I couldn't see him at all.  
"G'night darlin'. And you better sleep."  
"Goodnight to you as well, Mcree."  
I heard the door slide closed, and I turned off the TV, collapsing into bed.  
I rolled my eyes.  
He was sweet.  
Must be the lack of sleep. 

MCREE

Am I in love with Hanzo Shimada?  
I've always been a romantic. My first crush was a spoiled rotten childhood friend, Elizabeth Ashe. She had a sharp wit, a poised accent, which she tended to use to mock my lazy way of talking. I admired her gumption, the way she demanded attention, but as we got older, I realised my feelings were compulsory. I didn't love her at all. I started to realise I was irritated by her opulence, her superiority complex. We had our back and forths, but we also had a massive falling out. I couldn't pretend to love her if my life depended on it, and it was embarrassing that I tricked myself into thinking I could.  
But, I am one-hundred percent, without a doubt, not in love with Hanzo Shimada, right? Surely, I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.  
Sure, the broody, tortured soul act he had going on had something artistic about it, but it's an act. His stubbornness should be enough to drive me away all together. I wasn't determined to figure out what he was hiding, not like everyone was, but I was determined to show him there's more to life than dwelling on mistakes. I had to learn that the hard way, I don't want him to go through the same. That's because I'm a caring person. Not because of any complex feelings.  
Anyway, he rejected my invitation, which wasn't a surprise. I had been insulting him for a while, all jokingly. I can see how he might see me as a pompous douche, but that's just everyone's perception of me. I guess our impressions of each other are different.  
The way he sat there, halfway turned towards me and the dartboard. His hair cascading down his shoulders, his sleepy eyes blinking as he fidgeted with a dart in his hand. He made that room feel like home to me. I wanted to stay. Every time I come by his quarters, I want to stay. It isn't because I love him, why would I? I could never imagine myself with a man, let alone Hanzo Shimada. I just feel drawn to his character, I guess. Even if he is hiding some big, cataclysmic secret, I don't think I could ever let go of the comfort I felt around him.  
Our mission tomorrow was an important one. Hanzo seemed the most uneasy; That was alarming, considering Zhou seemed to now be more adjusted to concept than he did. I didn't know how to approach him, and I tried the only way I knew how.  
He declined in favour of sleep. Which, in all fairness, is good! I'd rather him sleep than be prodded at by my insistent concerns for his health.  
Whatever. It'll be fine. He's strong, and he's clearly suffered through worse than a fatigue. He's the most dedicated out of the four soldiers accompanying me tomorrow. Well, they're all dedicated in varying ways, I guess, but Hanzo covers pretty much every general combat area.  
Covering, assisting, flanking, the only thing he can't do himself is first aid (not that he ever had really needed it. He's very agile, especially in sticky situations.)  
The rest of the team have very niche talents. Angela, as our aid, focuses on our teams diagnostics and real-time healing. She's superb at this, as well as using her handgun to clear out outlier enemies. But a tiny handgun can only do so much.  
Fareeha is a goliath, she can tear through swarms of talon Troopers like they're food between her jaws. She isn't very stealthy, though.  
I don't know too much about Mei-Ling. I'd have to wait and see. In training, her work was promising. Her gun sends out these spectacular flurries of ice and snow, but I could see hesitation whenever she pulled the trigger. She had to push herself to shoot a practice target, how would she react to a living, breathing Talon Trooper?  
I arrived at my own quarters, taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.

ANGELA 

Rooming with Olivia Colomar was interesting, you never knew whether she'd be annoyed or friendly with you, almost as if your relationship changed with the sun's phase in the sky. I was grateful she wasn't irate this morning. She worked in the corner of the room, humming a tune I didn't recognise.  
"I have to go visit Fareeha." I mumbled. I was cleaning my glasses, luggage sprawled on my bed. "She didn't show up for her appointment yesterday."  
"Damn. Still trying to break her shell?" Olivia laughed, tapping away on her computer, "We know everything about her at this point, I don't even think there's anything you can console her through."  
"She's always pushy. Angry, you know? That's a blanket emotion, I want to know what's hiding under it."  
"GOD, Angela!" Olivia scoffed, dramatically turning her computer chair over to face me, and stomping her foot to halt her spin, "Fareeha has issues, girl. She isn't gonna respond well to you intruding in on her personal space, whether you have a medical licence or not."  
"Hanzo trusts me."  
"Yeah, but he's not a shitty person! Fareeha is."  
"Give her a chance-"  
"I've given her multiple!"  
Fareeha was always a sore subject. She had gone out of her way to make enemies with everyone she could. That didn't stop me from wanting to give her a chance. I knew there was a scared girl underneath her bark and bite. Not to sound high-and-mighty, but a large part of me feels as if I'm the only one who can help her.  
Is that bad?  
Colomar dismissed me, "Go prep for your dumb mission or whatever, I'm busy."  
"Busy snooping? "  
"Busy doing none of your business."  
I rolled my eyes, "Have fun with that."  
Olivia is a glorified gossip. Everyone's business was somehow her business, but her business was no one else's. Tricky and confusing, if you ask me.  
I shut the door to our quarters. It's a little bit funny, the few days before this dispatch was the most time I've spent in my quarters. My appointments had been given to another on-base doctor, which cleared my schedule. I was only able to check on my mission partners. Morrison did this to make sure I was focused on my allies and the mission, and nothing else. There was still one person I had yet to check in with.  
I made it to her quarters, which she lives in alone. I knocked.  
I heard her sigh from behind the door. "Come in."  
I walked in, towing my luggage behind me. It was an hour before we were scheduled to rendezvous at the helipad, but Fareeha tends to like rushing under pressure. Her luggage was halfway packed, but she was fully suited in armor. She looked at me, and scoffed, "Here to give me a check up, doctor? Newsflash: I'm fine."  
"No, no, just a mandatory wellness update, nothing serious." I looked at her suit. All scratched up, dents and debris dusting the surface, "I don't want you trying to get in the way of things tonight."  
Fareeha looked up from her luggage and grimaced. "In the way? You know full well that I'm the most qualified to be front line!"  
" Yes, but you are overzealous. You could do something reckless and get hurt. "  
"You really wanna talk to your strike commander that way, Ziegler?"  
"You never let anyone help you, Fareeha. We all know what happened with your mother. I'm the only person qualified to help you through those emotions. I want to help you through those emotions."  
"Don't talk about my mother."  
Her face looked angry. Anger is a blanket emotion. There's something else, I know there is. Something to do with Ana Amari, with her family. I just wanted her to let me in. To let me see what was wrong. Let me see what was hurting her.  
But she was right. She'd fire me in an instant.  
I stepped back.  
"Yeah, that's more like it." She turned around, back to her scattered luggage, "I'll do what I want, thanks for the suggestion."  
I stepped out of the doorway and into the hall. "See you in a few."  
She refused to respond.  
×××  
When I arrived at the helipad, Mcree was resting with his back on the aircraft, while Mei and Hanzo sat on the ground, talking.  
"What happens when the ice melts?" He asked.  
Mei clenched her fists beneath her mittens, "I've never used the gun on a person, but I surmise they'd probably suffer from a rapidly worsening case of hypothermia!"  
"Sounds…painful?"  
"Oh it is! One time I got lost far away from my Ecopoint. Even though I had bundles and bundles of clothes on, the cold was unimaginably painful."  
Hanzo shook his head, "Luckily, we won't have to worry about much snow where we're going." He playfully elbowed Mei, she giggled. "The only people who will have to worry about a blizzard is Talon once you show them who's alpha!"  
"Alright lovebirds, settle down." Mcree groaned.  
"We're anything but!" Mei shrieked .  
"Calm down, I'm just joshing." Mcree took off his hat and itched his head, "I ain't even sure Hanzo can feel love."  
Hanzo pointed at Mcree, "Uncalled for, cowboy."  
"I bet you ain't ever had a lover!"  
"Oh, and you have?"  
The men glared at each other, playfully angry. I was on the fence on whether I was going to remark on their tension.  
Then, Fareeha came stomping up the steps.  
Everyone looked at her, except Hanzo. Hanzo was trying to distract Mei. Mei eventually realised this, and they had an empty conversation about archery, ignoring Fareeha.  
You could tell Fareeha expected Mei to cower. She expected everyone to cower. She demanded cowardice from those beneath her, but no one budged.  
"Emily let you off too easy." Mcree said. He put his cigar out on the wings of the aircraft.  
"Shut up."  
"Well, then. Everyone's here, why don't we load up the aircraft and get goin'." Mcree fixed his hat on his head, a dramatic gesture that made Hanzo groan. Mcree opened the door to the aircraft, everyone clutched their luggage to them. "Well? We don't have all night."  
As I looked into the aircraft's empty, vast interior, I turned to look at Fareeha.  
I had spent so much time calming everyone down for this mission. So much time making things seem rational, seem safe.  
But as I looked into the empty vessel of our transportation, I thought about the vengeful, detrimentally reckless mannerisms of Fareeha Amari, I got a very horrible feeling.

MEI

The cold night air rushed to my face as I stepped out of the aircraft. One by one we all climbed out, our feet touching the ground that Antonio Bartalotti owned, a place that we arguably had no right to be. Mcree gave us a lazy wave, "I'll be on the intercom if you need me. Once you have Bartalotti apprehended, bring him on back here, alright?" He looked Fareeha in the eyes, "I'm countin' on you, commander."  
The door of the ship slammed shut, and we were now on our own. Fareeha instantly made confident steps towards the Manor, "Let's make this quick."  
Angela followed, so did Hanzo. So did I.  
The manor was beautiful. The exterior was a fine-ground red cement wall, with marble bricks supporting the structure. It stood tall, widows dozens of feet wide loomed over us, the intricacies of the inside selling itself short in the dim light.  
Fareeha stopped, motioning for all of us to hide behind a decorative pillar.  
"There's Talon guarding the front door." She whispered.  
"What? Is that a surprise?" Hanzo derided her.  
"Ha. Ha." Fareeha scowled. She looked back at the pair of Troopers, "We're gonna have to blow through them."  
"But wouldn't that alert everyone inside? I think we should find an alternative entrance."  
"That would alert the Talon scum just as much!"  
"Here's an idea." Angela interjected, her voice much more gentle than everyone else's. "We should split up. Pick off the Talon Troopers quietly from the outside. Fareeha is the strongest when it comes to hand-to-hand, she can even melee with her gun if she wants. She will go alone on the left. Mei-ling's weaponry is quiet too, she can take the right. Hanzo and I will linger around this area, and take out the people in the front."  
"Take the shot then, Hanzo." Fareeha perked around the bush, "There's two Troopers over there. The standard guys. Red helmets, low armor. You should be able to get fatal hits if you aim at the chest."  
Hanzo didn't hesitate, pushing his hair over his shoulder and drawing his bow. He shot an arrow, then another. I heard bodies hit the ground, groaning. He stepped out from behind the bush, walking over to the barely-alive Troopers. He drew two more shots, and when I looked, arrows jutted out from their chests.  
"It's clear." He said.  
Fareeha, Angela and I stepped from behind the bush. My heart raced, I pretended the bodies weren't there, I looked straight at Hanzo's face.  
There was remorse, but he shrugged it off as Fareeha nudged him along.  
The plan was carried out. Fareeha nimbly abandoned us. Angela and Hanzo bid me a brief farewell.  
I wandered off to the right of the manor. I didn't come upon any Talon Troopers until about ten minutes later.  
There they were, red helmets reflecting the moonlight, guns at the ready. I shakily pulled out my own weapon. How was I going to do this?  
For starters, there were three of them. If I began to freeze one, the two others would instantly attack me. No, this called for projectiles, but I'd have to rush in and shoot at the same time, was I even coordinated enough to do that?  
One of the Troopers responded to chatter from an earpiece, he poked another Trooper, "Evans said he heard commotion from the left wing, he wants us to check it out."  
"I dunno man, Those guys over there are closer. I'm not getting docked pay for leaving my post."  
"Yeah." Said the third, "It might just be a rodent."  
"Unbelievable…"  
The conversation continued. They were distracted. Now's my chance.  
I started running, aiming my gun at the first. He stopped mid-sentence, a sharp icicle impaled his shoulder, he doubled down. I shot at the next, missing the shot.  
She ran over to me, her finger just barely grazing the trigger. I shot again, I hit her throat, she gagged, clutching her neck before hitting the ground.  
The third started to scatter bullets towards me, aiming a bit too far to the left. I ran around his right, and with no chance of making this third shot, I threw the gun at him.  
It caught him off guard for a moment. He stumbled, allowing me to elbow him in the back of the neck, further demobilizing him as I picked up the gun and did one final blow to the back of his head. The final shot made my hand recoil in shock. I dropped the gun in alarm. I looked around, my eyes watery, my mouth covered.  
No alarms. No one knew.  
I picked up the gun, reluctantly refusing to look at the bodies, continuing my trudge to the building's rear.  
I fought two more guards before I made it, and when I did, Fareeha was already there.  
She smiled, "Beat you."  
I frowned.  
She was sitting on the ground of a decorative patch of greenery, attempting to wipe her stained rocket-launcher off on the grass. She eyed my clothes, "Damn, you actually got dirty? I'm surprised."  
I looked down, blood stained my chest and soaked into the fur trimming. I sharply inhaled.  
I did that.  
Oh my god I did that.  
Fareeha chuckled, "Don't look so surprised. It's what you're here to do. If you weren't so annoying, I'd try and cheer you up." She laid her head back on the grass, " ...but, I'm busy. "  
She didn’t look so busy.  
I sat in the grass, waiting for Hanzo and Angela.  
Soon, we heard the shimmering, mechanical noise of Angela's valkyrie suit. Hanzo came dashing around the corner, Angela jogging not too far behind.  
"Whew!" She said, "Not too bad out front!"  
"Because I was doing all of the work." Hanzo crossed his arms.  
"You weren't even scratched, what more could I have done? Given you a band-aid for a cut that never was?"  
Fareeha stood, "Be quiet. We've cleared the outside, but now we have to make it in."  
Fareeha looked at the back door, a large hunk of metal. She pressed an interactive pad on the door, and it opened with a loud, mechanical scrape.  
"Hah! Unlocked! They're as careless as Weather Girl!"  
"I really wish you'd stop-"  
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Don't tell me what to do, Zhou. Ziegler almost learned her lesson, and I tolerate you far less."  
"Great." Hanzo said, "Make the girl Strike Commander for a week, and she grows mad with power. "  
Angela cleared her throat, "We should get going."  
Fareeha scowled at me one last time, "Here we go."  
We filed in cautiously. The wooden crates had made the air inside of the storage unit pungent, but Fareeha activated her jets and propelled above us, covering the smell of wood with jet fuel.  
Fareeha used her height advantage to glide to the top of the ceiling and warn us if there were Talon Troopers on the main floor.  
We had gone over it in training. There was one substantial area that led to Antonio's office. It was some sort of inventory room, most likely storing pieces to be installed into the museum. If we had gone through the front, we'd have to clear way more rooms. Since we snuck around the back, there was only one heavily-guarded room to clear.  
Fareeha was to be our lookout, with her jetpack, she could tell us how many Troopers needed to be taken out.  
She held up seven fingers.  
Hanzo went first, Angela scrambling to hold onto her staff and follow him. He shot, she looked out for him. If there was a slim chance that Hanzo missed, I took the shot for him. Most of his shots ended with a Talon Trooper dropping to the floor, but two ended up in my hands, blood pooling their impaled bodies as they laid on the tile.  
We cleared the area, Fareeha glided down, meeting up in front of the office door.  
The door was tall, I had caught Fareeha staring up at it on her way down. She pensively let her feet touch the ground and cleared her throat.  
"Let me talk. As strike commander, I have to represent us.” she faced away from us, muttering, “I’m probably the only one who could even get Antonio to listen.”  
"Couldn't we have someone more respectable representing us?" Hanzo said.  
"Cut the shit until we capture this guy, alright?" Fareeha shoved the door open.  
Antonio was talked up ever since I had known about this mission. I expected the open door to reveal a monster, or some brute sitting on a throne of skulls. As silly as it sounds, I found it shocking how human Antonio looked.  
He was standing, looking out his window, facing away. Dramatic, was he expecting us?  
He turned, his eyes immediately drawn to Fareeha. He was a large man, but his suit made it hard to discern whether his mass was mainly muscle or fat. His large smile was persistent. He studied each of us, from head to toe, and clasped his hands together. "Well...this isn't the crew I expected."  
Fareeha wasn't ditured by the comment, "So, you know why we're here?"  
"Of course. But...you'd be better off leaving. It'd save you time and money. Both of which are everything. "  
"Oh please!" Fareeha took another step, it looked as if she were trying to taunt him, "You're not going to get away with the shit you pulled because it'd be easier for us!"  
"Neither outcome will be easy for you. How will this look on the news?" Antonio stepped towards her. He towered over Fareeha. "Overwatch unlawfully abducting a respected businessman?"  
"You won't be so respected after you're exposed for your sadism. Your sociopathy! Your crimes against humanity, against us!"  
"Is that what this is all about? Revenge because you good guys can’t protect your own base? Even if you do manage to put my so-called dirty secrets out there, my friends will have helped me escape by the week's end. I'll have a new name, a new face, and your efforts will have been for nothing. Even if you leave now, you will have to face the consequences of killing all those Troopers, just to get to me." Antonio's smile widened, his mouth must have been ever-expansive, "There’s no way out for you. All these theatrics...little girl...have been a waste of our time."  
Fareeha saw Antonio, and I think she saw him for what he was. Someone bigger than her, stronger than her. Someone more threatening, more influential. Her face turned angry.  
"You're wrong." She snarled, "It was just a waste of yours."  
Before anyone else could stop her, she took her rocket launcher, aimed it to his chest, and shot. The rocket hit him instantly, chunks of his immediately expanded his figure, and red shot in every direction, coating the room, and the glass, in his chunky, crimson insides.  
I covered my eyes. I heard whimpering from the other side of the room. I didn't want to look, but I could tell it was Hanzo, Angela was probably covering him, I heard her cooing shakily.  
"It'll be okay...it'll be just fine...shhh..."  
I uncovered my right eye to look at Fareeha. She was staring at the bloody stump that remained of Antonio. She looked at me, her eyes were wide, tears streaked her cheeks, "Fuck."

FAREEHA 

We stood there for a while, but the smell of blood became too much for Hanzo, and he stepped out of the room. Angela tried to go with him, but I stopped her.  
"He's a big boy, he can figure it out. Let's just make a plan."  
"Make a plan, Fareeha? We had a plan. You just obliterated our plan."  
"But Antonio said he would be able to escape us! Why arrest someone who might not even be worth anything useful to us?"  
I tried so hard to stabilise my voice, but it came out shaky, afraid. The remains of Bartalotti dripped behind me, it was enough pressure to make my throat tighten.  
"I'd rather he be alive and untraceable than dead in a bloody spectacle!"  
Angela was furious, holding her staff in a trembling fist, she glanced at Mei for a moment, who was sitting on the floor, pretending not to hear us.  
"Get your ass up." I marched over to her, and grabbed her wrist, "Do you realise what this means?"  
"I-I do-"  
"Your stupid timid act cost us big time."  
Angela put her hand on my shoulder, "What?"  
"If she wasn't here, our team wouldn't have looked like a joke! He'd have taken us seriously and submitted!"  
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-"  
"Mei, this isn't your fault." Angela forced my hand from around Mei's wrist, looking me straight in the face, "Fix this, Amari."  
Mei looked timid, she flinched when I lowered my arm, and quickly went to join Hanzo in the hall.  
No one could see that this was her fault?  
No one but me?  
Fucking idiots. 

ANGELA

I had to be wary about how I approached this, especially in regards to Hanzo.  
Fareeha and Mei were shaken, sure, but Mei had raced out of the room, eyes covered. I don't know if she saw the body. Fareeha clearly did, but she has years of experience when it comes to blowing people up.  
Hanzo? He had to dissociate to kill Talon Troopers, he had to prepare himself to not feel there. It was an exercise we had practiced during his visits long ago. This time, he didn't have time to zone out.  
I approached him. Mei sat only a few feet away from him. His hands were grabbing his knees, his eyes were closed, until he heard my footsteps. He opened them and straightened up.  
"I'm alright, Angela." He muttered, "Just resting before the influx of Talon rushes in."  
He went back to closing his eyes.  
Fareeha walked out of the office, and almost instantaneously, alarms started going off on the main floor.  
Hanzo and Mei stood, the former readying his bow, and the latter twisting a knob on her gun. Fareeha walked towards the door North of us, "I'm starting a breech, cover me!"  
Fareeha booked it to the door, pulling a breech that would blow a hole in the door in a timely manner. The rest of us waited for Talon, and as soon as their footsteps sounded, we engaged.  
Mei began freezing Troopers on the left, and Hanzo shot them once they rendered paralyzed. I shot wildly to the right, keeping my eye on my team's diagnostics, praying my shots landed. I was reassured by the targeted Talon Troopers going limp.  
Hanzo and Mei had a synergy to their fighting style. Mei immobilized them for Hanzo, but every single one of his shots was apprehensively aimed towards the head. Hanzo’s hands shook, and so did his bow.  
Suddenly, I heard cracking from above me. I looked up, and saw more Troopers coming down.  
"They're breaking through the ceiling!" Mei shouted. She started spraying ice on the ground. The Troopers landed, immediately slipping, allowing Hanzo to finish them off. One by one.  
They came from all directions. Fareeha's lack of interference allowed for unmitigated cooperation. Eventually, they stopped coming. Hanzo, Mei, and I, looked at Fareeha.  
"Five seconds until the breech is activated…" she backed away from the door, "...three…two…"  
The device started beeping, and it trusted outward through the door. The device, and the metal pieces it took with it, clattered on the outside ground, leaving a hole filled with sparks and smoke.  
"Through here-"  
Static from Fareeha's intercom interrupted her, "You know, when I said I was countin' on you," Mcree groaned, "I meant I was countin' on you to do your job, not shot-call your way to disaster."  
"You saw?" Fareeha whined, she faced away from us and began whispering, "Please say you didn't tell Morrison."  
"C'mon, you think I want to be yelled at by the big boss man? No, the rest of Blackwatch doesn't know yet. But we need to get y'all out of there before you make even more of a mess. Is everyone okay? Is Hanzo okay?"  
I looked to Hanzo, who didn't react.  
"He's as stoic as a statue." Fareeha remarked, "Everyone else is A-okay."  
"I'm takin' the aircraft over to the restaurant behind the museum, uh, if y'all can clear that area of Talon before I arrive, it'll be a swift getaway. Well...almost as swift as the original plan. Anyway, see you there."  
The line went silent. Fareeha cursed, stepping through the hole in the door, "Come on."

HANZO 

I was pretending for Angela. Pretending that Antonio's death had no effect on me. Really, though, it was all enough for me to want to take an arrow through the head, or even let myself be defeated by some Talon lackey.  
I was tired of blood. Tired of being a witness or orchestrator of atrocities. I was tired of death, tired of killing people with names, people with faces, people with family and friends and lives they needed to live out. It's different killing those disposable, mask wearing soldiers. They don't have a visible face full of fear before the kill. You can't hear their final breaths.  
I walked slowly behind everyone else, recounting everything that happened. Over and over.  
It wasn't at all similar to Genji's murder. Antonio was evil. Antonio didn't deserve to be alive. But, the physical aspects of it. The blood, Antonio's face flashing from a wise-cracking smile, to pure fear. The fear I felt, the fear everyone around me felt. That alone reminded me of Genji's death, it was enough to bring me back to it.  
Hell, I didn't even stop her.  
I could have stopped her.  
Fareeha killed him and I let it happen.  
This was partially my fault.  
Maybe I'm some beacon of bad luck. My brother suffered even being born with me as his superior, Antonio suffered when I walked through those doors..  
No matter who I sided with, whether it be the darkest reaches of the Shimada Clan, or Overwatch's sickeningly sunny disposition, I always brought death with me.  
I snapped back into focus when I heard the word "Sniper!"  
There she was. A Talon sniper adorned in red, her white cape dusting the ledge below her as she aimed her long rifle straight towards us.  
She fired her first shot, and everyone scattered.  
"Shit...shit!" Fareeha hit the column she scrambled to hide behind , "They seriously want us dead?"  
"No!” I said, “The terrorist organisation is going to let us go after we killed one of their high status members! The sniper is just the host of our farewell party. "  
"Shut up!" She hit the column again.  
"If we send someone out, someone she can't hit right away…" Mei had her knees to chest behind a bush. "We can send someone else out to kill her while she's distracted by the other."  
"Hanzo is the only one precise enough to kill her."  
"No."  
I'm not killing anyone else.  
Fareeha scoffed, "No? So you want us to die here?"  
"Maybe we should, Amari. Maybe we should let them use our bodies as trophies. It's the least we could do for them since we murdered one of their own. "  
"The hell is wrong with you? Fine, I'll do it! "  
I could hear Angela beginning to try and talk to me, but I stood up, "I'll be the decoy. "  
"You're not fast enough to be the decoy!" Angela tried to pull me back down, "Just stay-"  
"No one else is gonna do it, are they?"  
Everyone’s silence was deafening. No one offered.  
"Alright. I'll distract her, Fareeha will shoot her."  
"No. Angela's right." Fareeha looked as though she didn't want to admit it, "You're more likely to end up dead. We should just toss something out."  
"We don't have anything that looks like a body!" Mei said, "If-"  
I couldn't handle this. I can't handle any of it. Let's plan to kill someone casually, as if that's less horrific than what we've already done. Did they think we deserved to make it out alive? Did they think we deserved to get away with this? We murdered him. We murdered him. We murdered him.  
I ran out from behind my hiding spot. The sniper immediately locked on me. I just stood there. Waiting for her to pull the trigger. Waiting for her to give me what I deserved. I wanted it to be quick. I wanted it to be sharp. Swift. My knees waited to give out. Why was she hesitating? Why wasn't she shooting me? Why aren't I dead?  
Almost in an instant, she was blown off the ledge she stood on. Blood splashed on the wall behind her, and she fell to the ground, her gun clattering not too far behind.  
Fareeha stomped in front of me, "Thanks for distracting her, glad you're still here. Now, let's go."  
I began to walk, following her. I got two pats on the back. A soft, full one from Mei, and a meek attentive one from Angela.  
"Please don't do that without warning okay, no more getting in the way."  
"Yes, Angela."  
She walked in front of me, studying my body language like she had back in her office many times before, "I'm serious."  
"Yes, Angela."

MEI 

We were bombarded at the docks near Bartalotti's property. Talon ships swooping in and dropping innominate soldiers. Shoot and kill. That's what was asked of us.  
"Why can't we just restrain them? Or knock them out?" I asked. I cowered behind Hanzo, he was doing most of the work anyway.  
I could hear Fareeha's annoyed groans, even if she was several feet up in the air, "That wouldn't do much good for us once they find a way to catch up to us!"  
"But it'd help our case!" I shouted up to her. She was somehow shooting at the Talon aircrafts as they came to the docks, some Troopers were dead before they even hit the ground.  
"We killed the heaviest hitter, pretty sure nothing can save our reputation."  
I impaled a Trooper who landed in front of me with an icicle straight away. I had gotten used to some of them having pulse guns. Dubbed "Enforcers" by Morrison, they followed a pattern (one, two three shoot!), and they differed from Troopers because they wore white and had bulkier armor.  
"Heaviest hitter." No offense, but yeah right! At least Antonio didn't have a gun. He didn't seem like a heavy hitter. He seemed like a rich jerk.  
Angela was busy resuscitating our declining health from the dock's edge, golden streams of nano-biotic light billowing from her staff. "I dunno, Amari, it would make us seem less like bloodthirsty killers."  
"We aren't bloodthirsty! We did what we had to. I did what was asked of me!"  
"What do you mean it was asked of you?" Hanzo huffed. Talon ships stopped coming, only a handful of Troopers stood in his way, but they were cautious and tired, "No one told you to kill Bartalotti."  
"Not directly, no. But you heard how Morrison expressed his distaste for Lena's vision, her methods. He wanted us to stray from her views. "  
"Her views would have saved us from public humiliation. From seeing a body blown from the inside out." Hanzo watched as the last Talon Trooper died, he rested his bow, "Yes, Bartalotti was a horrible person, the insolent cur didn't deserve anything less, but Lena's plan of not interacting in the first place, focusing on our own reinforcements, the well-being of Blackwatch after the incident, it was working. Now the headlines will paint us as a monster we didn't want to be. As meat-headed, violent assassins. They won't view us any more noble than Talon. You're fine with that? "  
Pharah came to the ground, "We killed one guy-"  
"We killed so many more than just one 'guy'. Look at this, Fareeha!" Hanzo knelt down to the nearest corpse and pulled off their helmet. Brown, curly hair framed the Trooper's lifeless face. Her eyes were open. "We killed her."  
Everyone stared at the girl. Hanzo repeated himself, "We killed her."  
"You're obviously inept to the fact that she was a terrorist." Fareeha snatched the helmet from Hanzo, tossing into the sea that framed the dock, "Let the so-called media see her face and expose her for the crimes she committed!"  
"You're missing my point!"  
Hanzo seemed as if he had more to say, but Fareeha wasn't letting up. He swung his bow over his shoulder and stormed off.  
I wasn't a fan of the constant arguing. I wasn't a fan of any of this, actually. But, it made me think.  
Was Morrison trying to convince us to harm Bartalotti?  
I had only known Morrison for a few days, but Fareeha knew him better. If he had a distaste for Lena's pacifism, would that mean that he was on the extremely opposing side? Did he want violence to come to those who hurt Overwatch? Was it out of a belief in karma? Or a sadistic need? Did it even matter?  
Fareeha noticed I was still staring at the body. She walked over to me, reluctantly touching my shoulder, "Don't…let it freak you out."  
"Huh?" I said.  
"Like, don't dwell on that dead girl. Don't dwell on there being people behind the masks. That's stupid. It won't do us any good."  
A shred of empathetic understanding? From Fareeha? The thought still hadn't kicked in yet, not with everything else bugging me.  
"Can I ask a question?"  
"Sure."  
"Um…" I somehow got my focus off the body and looked at Fareeha. Her helmet covering her eyes. Her mouth showed she was frowning, possibly scared, but without everything else, I couldn't really tell how she felt.  
Her lips parted, and for no reason at all, my heart raced.  
"You're staring."  
"Oh! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I just-" I didn't know where else to look. Her? The corpse? The ground? My eyes searched, and settled for the sea.  
"I wanted to know if you're okay...I guess."  
Fareeha's frown turned confused, "The hell you care about that for?"  
"You, um, seemed a bit shaken after you...shot Antonio."  
"That's natural,though. There was blood everywhere. It was disgusting. I was disgusted."  
"Fair, it just seemed like there was something more."  
Fareeha took her hand off my shoulder, I had only just realised she was awkwardly holding it this whole time. "Damn it." She mumbled, " You've been hanging around Angela too much. "  
All I could hear was anger in her voice. I didn’t get the defensiveness. The crudeness. The bite  
"Why do you hate me?" I asked.  
"I never hated you.” She grumbled, “I hate everything you do, the way you act, the way you dress, but I don’t hate you.”  
“That sounds awfully like you do.”  
"Well, I don't! You're just so meek and quiet and I hate that!" She shrugged, "It's fucking annoying! It's childish! It's stupid! It's the type of thing that had to be ripped out of me! Beaten out of me! " Her voice started cracking, "But you don't get that."  
“Emotions shouldn’t be extinguished.”  
“Yeah? Tell that to Morrison. Tell that to my family.”  
"I just mean, I think it's okay to feel those things." I said, "Weakness, contentedness, It's just another form of security. If I'm quiet, I'm perceived differently. It allows me to be underestimated. It's better than being boastful and then letting everyone down. I don't do it on purpose, I guess it's just me."  
She stood silent for a while, exasperated.  
"Zhou...I'm tired of feeling nothing at all." She took off her helmet. Her hair was frizzy, chaotic and wiry, "I don't have passions, you know? Killing is my career. Killing's my passion. I don't like it though."  
"Why not admit it? Why not quit?"  
"I have no one else to go to. If I abandon Overwatch, I'm abandoning the closest thing to family I've got."  
She looked around the corner, to see Angela motioning us to hurry up. Fareeha sighed shakily, "It's not your fault, Zhou." She shoved her helmet back on her head, "C'mon."  
She walked to Angela, I did too. They were hiding.  
"Pretty sure there's Talon waiting to swarm us in the building up ahead." Angela whispered .  
Fareeha threw her hands up and knelt down with them. "Well fuck."  
"Maybe...we don't have to fight them? At Least not right now." I suggested, I looked past the archway protruding from the building. "They're expecting us to go through there because it's the easiest way, but it isn't the only way."  
"What do you suggest, then?" Hanzo said, albeit, judgemently.  
"See, there's a bridge above the water, on the other side of the building. Talon left their skiffs on the dock. The water most likely has a path leading to the underside of the bridge, or else it wouldn't be flowing." I looked at Fareeha. "Are you...getting what I'm saying?"  
"They won't see us get on the skiffs, there's no widows on this side." Fareeha gave me a small, awkward smile, "It's actually perfect. If we flank them, we have the upperhand."  
We all quietly went back to the docks, and with the help of Angela’s glowing suit, we found the keys and turned them, firing up the crafts. They were fairly small, clearly unable to hold four people. Hanzo and Angela took the first skiff. Angela was reluctant.  
"Mei, I know you and Fareeha tend to clash, but I have to be in the same boat as my most...concerning patient."  
"I understand," I looked back at Fareeha. She was sulking, definitely, but it wasn't out of a place of hostility or anger. I couldn't figure out what it was. "I don't think we'll have an issue."

FAREEHA

"What kind of family is Overwatch anyway?" Mei-ling clung onto the edge of the boat. I rowed, I was stronger and I didn't want the smallest person in our team getting tired.  
"I don't know." I said, pushing the oars forward, "My mom trusted them, for a while, then she just didn't. "  
"How old were you when she left?"  
"Not young. Like, probably seventeen." I shrugged.  
It was actually when I was twenty. But, no one cares about an adult losing their only parent, even if my mom was my best friend.  
"She just disappeared?"  
"For two years, yes. But I was training with Overwatch long before she was out of the picture. I got private training without her permission as a teenager. Morrison offered it."  
Mei seemed to recoil, "Morrison?"  
"Yeah...but, he's not the one I usually sparred with. It was some lady. She always wore this obnoxiously high ponytail. French, I think? I couldn't remember her name if my life depended on it." "Was she nice?"  
"Mostly, yeah, except when she would hit me." I bit my cheek, "I always thought it was normal. Like, of course I'm gonna get hit, I'm practicing martial arts. Then I found out that no one else ever trained with real people. Everyone else practiced with these...regenerating Omnics. I thought that they weren't getting real training, real sufficient improvement, because they never bled. I thought it made me special. I thought I was getting something more advanced, more realistic. I brought it up with Morrison, though. Questioned him. I learned then and there that he does not like his methods questioned."  
"Did he hurt you?"  
"No, but we had a huge screaming match. I realised that being angrier than him could get me what I wanted. I was only fifteen at the time, though, so him yelling at me was enough to make me feel like I wasn't worth the effort at all. If you're getting that pissed at me, why are you even letting me train here?"  
Mei stopped asking questions. So I stopped talking. She was staring off into the sea. Hanzo and Angela were far behind us, Angela was steering.  
"What about you, Zhou? Like, why are you in Overwatch anyway?"  
"Oh! After I graduated college, a friend of mine referred me here. I was lower in the echeladder at first, but then the team I was working with discovered an anomaly in Antarctica's climate, a severe one. They sent my team and I to Antarctica to expand on our findings, and potentially solve it. "  
"Did you ever figure it out?"  
"No, my team is still in Antarctica. I'm only here temporarily."  
"Good. You shouldn't have to stick around."  
I should have elaborated.  
I don't want Mei-Ling around. She's too hopeful for Blackwatch. Too hopeful to be under Morrison's fist. I want to scare her away. I want to get her out. I don't even understand what Morrison sees in her in the first place. Some shy little scientist? On stealth missions? Was this a joke?  
She spoke over my introspect, "I'm sorry that Hanzo yelled at you. He isn't too keen on trusting your judgement."  
"Hanzo is just...cautious. He's pretentious too, though. Closed off, high and mighty. He thinks he's better than me, but I've been with Overwatch longer. No one knows shit about him, it gives him immunity." I peered at an alleyway, which seemed to lead into the town's centre, under the bridge. I used my left Oar to stabilise the boat, and rowed the right to turn around the corner. Mei shrugged as she watched the water.  
"Doesn't everyone have some sort of secret?"  
"Yeah, but his could be like, really fucking bad. I mean, the guy can't even be called by his last name. The hell is that about? "  
"I'm sure he'll tell you once he trusts you enough. You aren't exactly…"  
"Approachable?"  
"Yeah!" Mei said, a bit too enthusiastic for my liking. She tried to backtrack, anxiously running her fingers along the grooves of the boat. "It's not that you're impossible to talk to! You're just, I dunno, feisty?"  
"Heh, that's a nice way of putting it." I jolted as the skiff hit another vacant boat. It was a gondola lot, next to the bridge Mei had spotted. Angela and Hanzo were rowing their way to our spot. I grabbed my launcher, shaking as I glided out of the boat and onto the bridge above us.  
Mei used her gun to create a quick platform, boosting herself to the bridge's level. She smiled at me, "I'm glad we made it here.” She had peered over the railing of the bridge, “Whatever forces were here must have retreated. I don’t see anyone.”  
Her ear-to-ear smile was only interrupted by Angela calling out for her. When she turned away, I felt strange. As if something important to me had been torn away just as quickly as it came. As if I had somehow been accustomed to what was in front of me, as if I wanted it back.  
She turned back around towards me, holding Angela's staff with reluctant and anxious hands. She shivered. Something about her was still terrified.  
Her plan was phenomenal, We bypassed all those idiots who were waiting for us. Why was she scared? Should I be scared? Why was I all of a sudden caring about how she felt? Stupid fucking scared ass Mei-Ling. Stupid Fucking Antonio. Stupid Hanzo. Stupid Mei-Ling.  
I stared at her. My face didn't grow hot with anger. My fists didn't clench. I wasn't grinding her teeth, or glaring, or squinting, or whatever I did when I wanted to be noticed. I didn't want to hurt her, which was weird. Instead, I walked over to Mei-Ling, who was trying her best to remain composed while, quite literally, shaking in her stupid little fluffy boots. I cleared my throat, expecting blood or a secret to come spewing out at Mei's command.  
"You did fine." Was all I could muster. Her shaking didn't ease, but her hands relaxed. I said it again, "You did fine. We're all fine."  
Why was I taught to perceive everything as a threat? Why was I taught anger? I snuck away from my mother to pursue a career she didn't want for me. Seeing how traumatized everyone was, I started to wonder if she was right.  
Hanzo hoisted himself over the bridge, landing on his feet with an annoyed grunt. He looked at me, not-so-faded conflicts obviously clouding his head. He eventually pushed past us, heading North to the rendezvous point, "No more detours. I want to get this over with."  
"That's going to be an issue." Angela said, "There's most likely Talon up ahead."  
"Then we have no choice but to kill them." Hanzo said.  
"But you don't want to, do you?"  
Mei, Angela, and I stared as he stiffened in reaction. He gave a grumble, "Not if there's a choice. But there's no way to avoid them. The river is blocked off from this point off, and they're most likely expecting us in the center. That’s probably where the reinforcements that were here ran off to."  
Hanzo was the king of refusing to compromise. I rolled my eyes, "Then what's the point of bitching about it? Huh? We've already bludgeoned and maimed dozens of the anonymous freaks. They'll kill us if we don't kill them! "  
"Not all of us are stone cold murderers like you, Amari!"  
"Why do you have such an arrow up your ass, Shimada?"  
"Shhhh-!" Angela scrambled to stand between us, shoving my chest back, "We're here on a mission, okay? Maybe we should just, take what comes at us with whatever resources we have."  
"I refuse to follow Fareeha and her lust for blood. "  
"As if you're perfect! What are you trying to hide?"  
"What makes you think I'm hiding something? Maybe it's none of your business!"  
"Oh grow up! You don't think people have caught on that you're deranged?"  
Angela pushed us away further, "For the love of God, just shut up!"  
"Tell her that, Angela,” Hanzo growled, “Not me."  
Hanzo was being a real bitch baby. He isn't stable enough for this mission. Unlike Angela and I, he hadn't really desensitized, had he? There was something wrong with him, something had to break him eventually. That whole spectacle with the sniper hadn't gone unnoticed. Not by me.  
Angela led us North, Hanzo gave me passive aggressive stares from over his shoulders as Mei and I walked side by side.  
"I think...whatever he's trying to hide," Mei mumbled, "I don't think it can be forced out."  
"He can't keep using it as a crutch. As a reason to argue with me."  
I was the leader of this whole operation, after all. Sure, I screwed up, but my status still remained in check.  
I should be in control. Not Hanzo. I raised my voice, "Hey everyone! Stop!"  
Everyone turned to look at me. Just how I like it.  
"Have you all forgotten that I'm strike commander?"  
"No, we just don't care." Hanzo attempted to turn back around .  
"Shimada. You will listen to me."  
"And you'll respect me. Don't call me by that name."  
"Or what? You'll kill me?"  
"You know what? I just might."  
Angela immediately grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him further along the path as he kept glaring.  
Her scolding was nearly incoherent, but it was repremansive and mean, firm. "You shouldn't say things like that. You can't just threaten someone you don't agree with."  
I avoided eye contact with him, but when I looked ahead, I saw someone. A girl with glittering red blades protruding from her wrists. She cocked her head, her movements were sharp as she positioned her footing.  
Then she started to run straight towards us.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blackwatch team has a run-in with an assassin. Hanzo continues to fall apart, opening up to an unlikely ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every header is a POV. Tracer uses they/them pronouns.

ANGELA

She lunged at Fareeha first.   
She tore past the rest of us before we realised what was even going on.   
I remembered the suit from one of our many mission preparation meetings. They belonged to female Talon Agents who liked to get close. Morrison called them Assassins.   
This girl in particular cackled as she slashed at Fareeha's chestplate.   
"WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" she screamed, her shrill voice made all of us flinch in shock, " IF IT'S NOT ME WHO PUNISHES YOU, IT'LL JUST BE SOMEONE ELSE. "  
Fareeha attempted to use her launcher to shove the Assassin off of her, but she had already shoved her claws into the gaps of Fareeha's armour.   
Surprisingly, before anyone else could react, Mei shot an icicle towards the Assassin.   
She looked quizzically at the missed shot for a second before Mei let a second split straight into the Assassin's wrist.   
Mei watched as the Assassin un-handed the weak and frightened soldier, snarling as she made a run for Mei.   
In the midst of her sprint, her body spiralled out of control, her head hitting the floor, and her body spinning with it. An arrow straight to the chest.   
She choked on her last words, "T-the others will get you."  
Hanzo lowered his bow, and I bent down to check the Assassin's pulse.   
I sighed, "Dead as a doornail."   
Hanzo hung his bow back over his shoulder, "Check on Amari so we can move out."   
Mei seemed to uncomfortably shift away from Hanzo, then she focused her attention on Fareeha.  
"Amari, can you hear me?"   
Fareeha whined, and Mei grabbed her by the arms to help her up. The two of them checked up on each other. They seemed gentle.   
Weird. She never opened up, and all of a sudden her and her biggest enemy were affectionate?   
Hanzo was antsy, ready to move, and voicing his disdain for the lack of progress loudly.   
"Jesse is waiting. If we keep him vulnerable, they might shoot him straight out of the sky!"   
Fareeha raised her hand, she was a bit woozy, "Doc, can I get some healing?”  
I clutched my nano-biotic staff and immediately pulled the trigger to transfer plasma, “This won’t hold you over for long. Just, don’t do anything crazy and you’ll be stable.”  
She looked a little disheartened, but she shrugged, “Okay, Ziegler.”  
We eventually made it away from the centre. The museum was near. Elaborate ivory pillars wrapped around the foundation of passing buildings, and old rain water dripped from gargoyles that towered over the street. I kept my eye on Hanzo, but I was no longer concerned. His argumentative behaviour had been overwhelming, to say the least. Reminiscing about my therapy sessions with him did no good, it's like that Hanzo somehow died somewhere between arriving in Venice and now.   
It probably had to do with Antonio's death, I wasn't going to dismiss that, but I didn't have the energy to treat his reaction as a priority.   
Had I failed in keeping up with him? Wasn't my main goal to help him? To carry him? To console him? Why didn't I care about it as much as I should? Does my apathy make me a bad doctor?  
I didn't have the guts to admit I didn't care anymore.  
I inhaled as I touched his shoulder, "Hanzo. We need to talk."   
He quickly batted my hand away, "Angela, I'm fine-"   
"No. You're not. And you're going to stop and listen to someone other than yourself for a second."  
"Fine. In case you haven't noticed, I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this situation. So sorry if I'm not being perfect. "  
"No one wants you to be perfect!" I grabbed his shoulder again, pulling him back, "You're not fighting anymore."   
"What? What do you want me to do?"   
"You're hiding. "   
"The hell I am! Angela! I'm the only one proficient enough to take this influx out!"   
"Then why didn't Morrison send you alone? Why did he have to drag a girl from another department to help us? "  
"Reinforcements."   
"Oh? Really?" I scoffed solemnly. He was being ridiculous. "You have a choice, Hanzo. Fight all those Talon Troopers alone, with no nano-biotic healing, no back-up, and no one to 'reinforce' you, or go hide somewhere with an intercom until the museum is cleared. Your call."  
Everyone stared at me. I was terrified that I was being too harsh, but something had to be done before it was too late. He was hostile. He was slightly sociopathic. He wasn't okay.   
He nodded, "I'll go. " he snarled, tossing his bow and his arrows. They landed with a hard "crack". Definitely the sound of broken Blackwatch equipment. "Who do I have to talk to on the intercom?"  
"Mcree. He's the only one who knows about our situation enough that he won't scold you. Plus, you guys get along, right?"  
"Ugh. Hardly."   
Fareeha interjected, "Boo-hoooooo! Just go, man."   
Hanzo elbowed Fareeha out of his way, rushing off back to the cleared centre.   
Fareeha and Mei blinked at me. They were holding hands, possibly scared of what was going to happen next, now that Hanzo left.   
Fareeha shook it off, "Heh! Looks like I'm finally the leader again! Took long enough!" dragged Mei with her to run past me, then realised she couldn't jet off while holding her hand.   
Mei laughed nervously, taking her arm back, "Can you scout who's up ahead?"  
"Psh! Sure, but it looks like things are gonna be smooth sailing from here on!"   
Fareeha launched herself up, but as soon as she looked over the building up ahead, she dropped back down in a panic, "No, no, no, no! We are that much of a threat! We aren't terrorists!" She clutched the sides of her helmet, spitting angrily "Heavy Assault."   
"Great. Just when you said we were in the clear." I muttered.   
"Can it, Angela! God, you can't take Hanzo's place as the Sarcastic Asshole!"  
Mei shushed us, "We need a plan-"  
Thundering steps from around the corner caused Mei to cling to the nearest person (guess who? Fareeha.) Fareeha hoisted her launcher at her hip, her palm firm against the trigger. "If he starts to shoot, you will create a barrier, got it?"   
"Yes, I t-think…" Mei twisted a knob on her gun, causing two pieces to spread like wings and smoke with a light, cold fog. "What about Angela?"  
"Heal us biotically from the balcony above us. "  
"Understood." I said.   
The footsteps were closer now. I went into the nearest building, dashing up the stairs and sliding to the balcony. When I looked over the railing, the Heavy Assault unit loomed over Fareeha. A white, beastly mech with two gigantic guns.   
The Heavy Assault unit revved up his weapons, and Fareeha growled and Mei, "Barrier, NOW!"

MCREE 

"This is Hanzo...this is Strike Agent Shimada."  
I took a light inhale of smoke as I picked up my receiver, "Did Fareeha blow someone else up?"  
Hanzo's annoyed facial expression somehow transcended audio, "Multiple, but that is not why I'm talking."  
I let the smoke pour out of my mouth, my free hand fumbling for the nearest ashtray to crush what had to be my third cigar stub of the evening. "Then why are you talkin'?  
"I'm being forced. I'm not allowed to fight, doctor's orders. "  
This was puzzling. Hanzo was skilled, having him withdrawn from a team would downgrade the mission immediately. No offense to the others, but really?   
"Wait, so, where are ya?"   
"Ducking under a desk in a foyer. Some place called A.B Suites."  
"And it's clear?"   
"It doesn't even look like the construction for this place has finished yet, there's no sign."   
"Be on the lookout for trouble, alright?"   
"Yes, Mcree."   
Radio silence followed.  
"Did something happen out there? Besides the whole...you know…"  
Hanzo sighed deeply, "No. Just a disagreement between Fareeha and I. You know how she gets."   
" Yeah, I know. She likes to think she's finer than frog fur. Could only imagine how she is as a Strike Commander. "   
"Oh, she's the worst strike commander in the history of strike commanders. "   
"What'd you two argue about?"   
"She was trying to be her usual self. I was trying to ignore it. One thing led to another and I said something I shouldn't have. I personally don't think I deserve to be punished, but someone with context might disagree. "   
"Why don't you give me context, then?"   
"It's…personal. "   
"Fair enough."   
It really was fair. I had pushed the guy around for ages at this point, I don't deserve his life story. I deserve basically nothing from him. Then again…  
"I think we should get to know each other better, since you're stuck here with me."   
"I could easily turn this radio off and sit in silence." He said.   
"Then do so. I'll be sittin' here either way. "   
I heard rustling noises from his end, followed by exasperation, "I'm not the most stable person, so, maybe a threat from me might be more alarming than, say, a threat from someone random."   
"You threatened her?"  
"I said I'd kill her."   
Damn. What was going on while I was sitting on my ass smoking myself to death?   
"Do you think you're, uh, capable of something like that?"  
He didn't answer.  
"Is the death of Antonio getting to you?"   
I hadn't seen the death myself, but I heard Fareeha's missile and saw shards of red glass in the distance. Nothing about it seemed pretty. "It's okay if you want to talk about it."  
"It was obnoxiously bloody. The panes of the window were obliterated by Fareeha's trigger." Hanzo's voice shook, "Someone who murders someone else for personal affairs...is that person a monster?"  
"Well, it really depends on circumstance, honestly. The morality of the person, the morality of the victim. The relationship, you get what I'm sayin'?"   
"No. Not at all."   
We sat in silence for another long while, but I was trying to construct a reassurance in my head.  
"I mean...if you carried a hit out on someone, against your own will…"   
"What?" He sounded a little offended.   
"Hear me out, Hanzo. Fareeha wasn't instructed to kill Antonio, but she did it anyway. That's leaps scummier than someone who was forced to do something. "   
"What are you basing this off of?"   
"Experience. " I said, "I, uh, used to be in a gang. I used to have to do things because if I didn't…there'd be consequences. "   
"You're lying. Who put you up to this?"  
"If I'm lying about my own past, I should be in a psych ward. Not here blabbing to you 'bout it."   
"Did Angela tell you about him?" His voice grew worried, angry, almost.  
"Who?"   
"Genji."   
I heard a sad gasp after he said the name, I didn't like the sound of it.   
"That name means nothing to me, Hanzo. I haven't any clue who that person is."   
" You knew the whole time, didn't you? " He yelled. His breaths were fast, unstable.   
"Hanzo-"   
"Why were you being so nice to me, then? Why did you even come to my quarters? Weren't you afraid I'd kill you too?"  
"Who was he?" I said. I got another sad noise before he broke down into uncontrollable sobs. I could hear the microphone shift, he was shaking. "Hey...hey...just breathe."   
"As if that'll fucking aid me. A-as if that'll wash the blood long soaked into my soul. As if I deserve to b-breathe. "  
"Hanzo….listen, uh," I couldn't think, I hated hearing him like this. What did Elizabeth do when I was upset? What did she tell me?   
"What building did y-you say you were in again?"  
"A.B Suites…" he said.  
Distract him as much as you can. Then, talk to him once he's calmer. That worked for me, didn't it?  
"What's the weather like out there, the temperature?"  
"Cold. Wet. Dark. I-I hate it here. I hate it so much."  
"What would you want it to be like?"   
"I don't know? I miss how it was back home. In H-Hanamura. Cool, sometimes w-warm. G-Genji used to ditch his schooling on the hotter days…"   
"Did you join him?"  
"Once. But, I was r-repremanded. Never again."   
"Did Genji get you in trouble a lot?"  
Hanzo chucked through his sad voice, "He was my little b-brother. He got me in trouble every single day. I was supposed to look after him, after the leader of our Clan died. After our father died. He was always a black sheep to our family. He didn't value the Clan's work. He dyed his hair, he played hooky. He d-didn't look or act like a Shimada, but blood kept him tied to us."   
"And you miss him?"  
"Every second."  
He delved into stories about his brother. About the times he was angry at Genji, and when Genji was angry at him. About their differences, and their similarities. He told me about the way his brother's smile made him feel as if the world wasn't so dark, as if it wasn't so scary and malicious. How he could be something more than the Shimada heir.   
Once he reached the point where he began to talk about the Clan, his anxious tone increased. He began to tell me about what was asked of him. Why Genji was gone. He sounded as if he were reading some fucked up fairy tale, as if he was as fearful for its end as I was.   
"I approached him, in the dojo one night. I was infuriated. I-I thought I was, anyway. The Clan elders saw him better off dead, and I reluctantly trusted them. They had protected me my whole life. They had given me shelter. They promised me a throne. I wasn't going to-" he breathed shakily, trying to catch his words. "-I wasn't going to throw that away for my lazy little brother. Little did I know, he wasn't lazy at all, he just knew better than to stoop to the Clan's level. They told me to kill him, and the incentive of a home, the incentive of status in a place I once was inferior to, it was too large to decline. If I had any honor, I'd hack away at the dead weight. If I was loyal, I'd ice his undesirable body. Release his soul. Kill him."   
I couldn't believe any of this. To have to carry this burden and try so hard to convince himself it was his fault. As if his normal annoyance at his little brother was a motive for murder. As if he wasn't slighted. Manipulated. Brainwashed. It took everything to not start trying to talk sense into him.   
"I don't remember much. I remember he said a joke, I think. 'If you think you can sneak up on me, you're in for a load of disappointment.' He had laughed. And he heard me draw out my sword. He playfully reached for his, but he wasn't fast enough. And there was blood. On the floor, and on the wall...a-and on my sword. I remember seeing him choke, the blood in his throat stealing the last breaths that rightfully belonged to him. I remember screaming at him. I remember him crying as his body gave out. I remember scolding him until his last second. But they were empty insults, empty criticisms, because I don't remember what I told him." The crying had stopped. His tone was monotonous, dead. "Sometimes I wish I had gone along with his playful demeanour. Maybe have a friendly sword fight with him. Maybe made him leave the Clan with me. Maybe he'd be here and I wouldn't be so a-alone. "  
"You aren't alone, though. Your world is so small, you know? You're...thinking about it wrong. You think it's wrong because your brother died. Because you, uh, because you killed him. You're not alone in the sense that we've all done bad things. I don't know what Angela told you, but it ain't about placing blame. It ain't about whether it's your fault or not. There isn't a scale that's gonna tell you the true morality of yer' actions. I used to traffic drugs, you know? I used to sell illegal weapons, and nothing's gonna change that. I'm always gonna feel bad, but there are an amount of circumstances that led me to that point. As long as I know that, I know that I can live with myself."  
"But, how? My circumstances were greed, my circumstances were anger-"  
"You were born into greed and anger, how could they not have been?"  
We talked more, and all I could hear in his voice was sadness. I didn't know if I made anything better, but I hadn't made it worse, either. With my history of trying to help people, that was a miracle.  
Hanzo spoke as if he were hopeless. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling then. How to tell him that he was beautiful, despite everything. The moment I felt it, though, I felt selfish. He's pouring his heart out in the form of his dark past, and all I wanted to do was cherish him. Make him feel better. Make him feel like something more.   
The exact second I thought it, he was talking about how guilty he felt. That, even if it wasn't his fault, he still did it.   
My selfish desire took over. As if I couldn't stomach it anymore, as if I couldn't hear him talk about himself like he was anything less than what I saw him as. Who he was to me.   
"Hanzo?"  
He stopped talking. Stopped lamenting. "What?"  
"I love you?" I winced. "I think I do? I think I always have? I think I still do now...even more so now? Painfully more."  
Hanzo didn't say anything.


	4. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oxton won't be able to stay in this timeline for very long. They go to Morrison with their concerns for the future, and finds out something grave about the true motive behind Antonio's assassination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tracer uses they/them pronouns.

OXTON  
interlude  
The people taking care of Oxton were either incompetent, or sabotaging their recovery.   
Emily sat by her partner as she ran her fingers through their hair. It was funny, Oxton was probably going to phase out of this timeline soon. Usually in movies, there'd be some big secret. they'd be telling their spouse about a timeline where they've died, something dramatic like that. Instead, Oxton just resigned to the comfort of their own fleeting mortality. They didn't want to let go.   
Maybe it wasn't funny at all.   
A doctor opened the door to the room, "Oxton, Lena?" He asked.   
"It's just Oxton." Her partner said.   
The doctor rolled his eyes, though it looked as if he meant to keep his annoyance to himself. "Morrison wants to see you before you phase out again. It's about a recent strike."   
Oxton weakly sat up in their bed, "Another strike? What could possibly be so pressing that a strike needed to be called while I'm out dying?"   
Emily bit her lip, "Morrison...uh...kinda forced some soldiers on Bartalotti."   
"What?" Oxton immediately tried to get out of their bed, "You didn't stop him?"  
"I'm scared of him, love, I need to keep this job. "  
"Not you, Emily. Everyone. You guys treat that man as if he's some sort of deity. You worship him. He's violent! He's a brute!" Oxton got out of the bed. A pulsing blue apparatus was tacked to their chest. Not that it mattered. It was supposed to keep Oxton tethered to this timeline. But they broke it, and said it didn't work. They didn't want to stay here. They had seen the future. They had seen everything.  
Overwatch wouldn't last by the end of the decade. Emily will die soon. Morrison will become an ally to Talon.   
Angela Ziegler, Fareeha Amari, Mei-Ling Zhou they'd all somehow lead to a grim future, and Oxton wasn't going to figure out how to stop it without travelling between these two points in time. They couldn't stay here long.  
Oxton didn't want to be tied to this fate, and they didn't want Emily to die.   
"Take me to Morrison." They demanded. They were fully out of bed, their hospital gown crookedly slipping off their shoulders. The assistant seemed hesitant, so Oxton insisted. "Take me there, now."  
Oxton was led to his office, to which Morrison sat there, waiting for them.   
Oxton walked in, and couldn't even get a word in before Morrison handed them an outline for a debrief.   
"Critical, for times like these." He said.   
Oxton looked over the papers, "BERATE ABOUT THE ASSASSINATION. DISCHARGE AGENT H. SHIMADA, AGENT M.L ZHOU, STRIKE COMMANDER F. AMARI, DOCTOR A. ZIEGLER, AND J. MCREE. WIPE A. BARTALOTTI PROFILE."  
" You did the strike on Bartalotti? " Oxton tossed the papers onto the desk, "You let him die?"   
"Jesse Mcree called me as soon as it happened. Fareeha Amari blew Antonio to smithereens. I didn't expect anything less than the spawn of that bitch."   
"Ana Amari was like a mother to me! You just sabotaged Fareeha's future by issuing her on a strike when she clearly isn't very good in groups, she isn't very good at cooperating."  
" It would be a perfect reason to discharge her. She can't work in an Organization if she can't stand people. Besides, you can't tell me you aren't hurt by what Ana did. " Morrison smiled, it seemed very out of place, and even more so when he laughed to himself. "This isn't about Ana Amari. It's about the people we've recruited. A Shimada member, really? The explosive daughter of a thief, an ex-gang member. You can't make this shit up! This place, Overwatch, there is no order here. No one listens to me. Maybe getting rid of the people who make this organization look like a joke will make my demands heard. "  
"The only person who looks like a joke is you!" Oxton pounded a firm fist on the desk, but Morrison was unphased, "You have a family! A husband...You want to dismantle this organization that keeps the world afloat? Because if we decay, the world that relies on us decays. That includes your husband, my wife. That includes everyone's family, whether you like them or not. "   
"And why would I care about your wife?"  
" Because it's your job! "   
"My job is to manage. My job is to reprimand. I've forgotten that. I've grown too soft, this is my first effort to make things right."   
"This isn't the way, Morrison, I've seen what happens if you go this route. Please just listen." Oxton could feel their body giving out. They felt less control over it. They stood still. "I know what happens to your husband. Vincent will die, and it will be your fault directly."   
Oxton didn't get the response they wanted. Morrison simply shrugged, "If that's the price of fixing everything, it's a price I'm willing to pay."   
Oxton tried to yell at him, but their voice wouldn't stay at one point in time. It echoed the ends of words and left the beginning for last. It was jumbled, and Morrison tensed.   
"I'm truly sorry about what happened to you on that Jet, Cadet Oxton. I'm sorry that you don't get to be here, with Emily. With Blackwatch. With me. But," Morrison stood, placing his hand on Oxton's shoulder, which was barely tangible about to touch. "Maybe it had to happen though. To get you out of my way. " shook his head, “I’ll change one thing, though. Maybe I’ll keep the Blackwatch team. Torture them a bit more. Make their termination truly painful.”  
Oxton plummeted out of that time line, shooting back to a future they didn't belong to. Streaks of blue always clouded their eyes before they arrived where they were bound to.  
They always arrived back at the same time in the future. To the hospital room in a blue gown. Emily's corpse on the floor, bloodied and clinging to the desk of a monitor. No weapon, no evidence. Not that it mattered, Oxton had already known who did it.   
Oxton always looked out the window. The sky was always the same colour. Blue. Sometimes they wished it would be different, that would mean it was a different reality, and maybe things wouldn't be so bad in a different reality. Oxton shut the blinds.  
Oxton hated the colour blue.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Jesse connect, Angela questions her role as a medic, and the strike mission concludes.

HANZO

Jesse Mcree, in that moment, was the only person I could say I loved.  
Although he was obnoxious, a slacker, disrespectful, disobedient, lacked focus, and insisted on smoking before and after strike missions.  
Details, details.   
Mcree was anxiously silent. I could hear his chair shifting rhythmically. He was uneasy, wasn't he?   
"Am I that intimidating? You're a mess, Jesse. You could have simply told me."   
"I was unsure! You could have been straight! I could be wrong about what I'm feeling! This isn't exactly easy?"  
"I'm not saying it would be." I said. I didn't really like not seeing his face. This felt informal. "Where are you?"   
"Same spot I was before, why?"   
"Stay there. I'm coming.”  
"What?"   
"This is a conversation we should be having in person."   
"This whole conversation should have been had in person! Ain't there Talon still roaming about? You could get hurt."   
"We killed everyone. Except for some room near the dock. It'll be fine! I'll be fine! I'm coming."  
"Hanzo, you can't just ignore-"  
"Angela has led me astray. I don't know what her agenda is, but I've made far more progress with you than I ever have with her. Maybe it's bias. Maybe it's because you're genuine. I just don't feel assured with her. And she sent me to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you."   
Mcree groaned, "I'm taking the aircraft half-way. Meet me at the dock, okay? "   
"I will."   
I kept recounting how stupid of a choice I was making as I crept around Antonio's estate. Talon Troopers were bound to see me. Bound to shoot. But I didn't care.   
Not in a degrading way, either. I felt like I could win a spar with them. I felt better. Then I began to wonder why.   
I didn't like flattery. I've never liked being complimented or having my ego blown up, not even by my Clan elders. Mcree's charm, it haphazardly seeped past my walls, sunk into my skin, and made me feel better.  
I still wasn't happy, but better.  
What had Angela done wrong? What had Angela failed to include in her big plan for me? Her wisdom that would lead to my recovery?  
Angela's mistake came when she assumed I could "recover".   
I pulled myself up the wall of the bridge, letting go and landing in one of the boats we had used earlier. I took the same path back, too. Was I really doing this? I had thought. I had nothing but reservations and a view of the water. What was wrong with me? What if this isn't catharsis? What if I get there and he rejects me? What if he's thought it over and he can't associate with me? What if he's just being nice?   
I was hesitant to trust his intentions, but I had already travelled so far.   
I made it to the dock, and I heard his copter in the distance.   
"Is that you? Damn, you're quick!"  
"You're slow. "  
"While you're down there being snarky, keep an eye out for Talon."  
I did, but by the time Mcree had landed, none had come.   
Mcree gave me an anxious nod as he stepped out of the aircraft. I didn't really want to believe it was him. If it was him, I'd know he sees me now. What some would call the real me. My biggest insecurity, my inability to be compassionate, it makes me wonder if I should be shown the compassion I deprive others of. When it's being shown to me, when people care, it sometimes feels as if the universe might be playing some big joke on me. Like the happiness and sense of belonging I feel will be proven to be temporary, and I'll suffer all over again.   
But he was here. Walking towards me, down the stairs of the aircraft, and pulling me to his chest.   
Pulling someone as undeserving and deceitful as me close to him.   
"You can stay with me, you know," Mcree let me go, but tensed, I couldn't tell why "If Angela's cast you aside."  
"I-I wouldn't go as far as to assume I've been cast aside…" I said, "but I'd like to stay?"  
"Alright! Yes!" He scanned the area nervously, "Can we go on the ship? If you don't mind?"  
He shuffled out of my way as I walked into the aircraft. I had never been in the cockpit before, nor had I ever really wanted to. Flying vehicles are death machines, It's a wonder as to why I even get into one for missions. The cockpit, though, it actually wasn't as scary as I had imagined. Mcree had personalised it with his belongings, it made it feel familiar.   
"Every mission, you just hang out here?"   
Mcree climbed into the aircraft himself, sliding a cover over the control panel and kicking his legs up on the dashboard, "Every once in awhile I get to show off my marksmanship, my talent. But most of the time I play the part of the crabby pilot. "   
"You're a marksman? "   
"Haven't missed a shot since I was eight." Mcree chuckled, "They didn't hire me for my pretty face."   
I remained quiet. It was odd. His voice intimidated me in person, after he had somehow pried open my psyche and peeked at my thoughts.   
He pulled at my sleeve, "Is this from...uh…"   
I looked down, immediately rolling my sleeve up, "Antonio? I don't know. Maybe, too much happened-"  
"Hey! It's okay, my point was just that-" he stumbled to reach a scarf that was shoved under the passenger seat, "-your face is covered in blood, and red ain't your color."   
He gestured towards my face with the scarf, and rubbed my cheek.   
"I suppose you do this to everyone you hit on."   
" Most of my suitors aren't covered in blood on the first date. "   
"Funny, I thought it was customary."  
"Hey! You got a little asinine humour in that head of yours?"   
"Of course."   
Each stroke felt gentle, almost like he wasn't wiping at all. The strokes were small, the fabric was soaked by the time He had reached the other side of my face. I tried not to notice.   
He smiled, then looked at the scarf, "I didn't get it all off, but, you look better?"   
I ran my fingers over my face. It was sticky, but the blood caking my face was minimal.   
He took the scarf and swung it over his shoulder. He had worn it often back at the Blackwatch base, but now it was wrinkled, ruined.   
I ruin everything.   
No. I thought. He chose to do that himself. He wants me here. I haven't ruined a thing.  
I looked up at him. He grabbed my hand, shaking his head and laughing, "I didn't think tonight would go like this. I thought we'd have Antonio tied by the wrists and en route to Blackwatch. I thought you'd still be cold with me." He squeezed my hand, "I'm sorry about, you know, making you talk. I'm sorry if you said more than you wanted to."  
" I don't think I've told anyone those things, besides my Clan elders and Angela. No one else knew. There's a risk to telling people, but it feels better, having it not be a secret. Having it not living in my conscience. I felt so unlovable because of it. I still don't know if I am lovable, but I atleast know I'm...okay in your eyes. And it's better than being uncertain about how people see me. One person's opinion just relieves something. It doesn't heal me, but it makes me feel accepted. Correct. Not broken."  
"You were never broken." Mcree said, "Damaged, but not beyond repair. Never a lost cause. No one's a lost cause. People who've made mistakes can still do good. That's really what I'm here for." He traced his fingers along my arm, "What's that mean?"   
"What?"   
"Your sleeve." he smiled, "It's intricate."  
"Oh."   
My tattoo. What was I supposed to say? "Ah yes, my tattoo I got to brand myself as part of the Yakuza!"  
That's exactly what I said, actually.   
"It's a Shimada thing."   
"Oh…" Mcree lifted his fingers off of it, "I just thought it looked quite nice. "   
"Oh, no, the artist did an excellent job. I don't regret having it on my body. I just regret what it means."   
"You could always reinvent the meaning." He said, "I got all of mine lasered off. They weren't as pretty as yours, though."   
"Reinvent? I don't know how I would get something so symbolic a new meaning. "   
"Well, just know I like it. Tied to your past or not." He took my hand and kissed it gently.   
"Y-you're bold."   
"You're kissable."   
He brought my face closer to his.   
Then static came from his intercom.   
"We killed Heavy! I'm out of ammo. I thought you said it would only use some!"  
Mcree sighed heavily, letting go of my cheeks but still holding my hand. It made me feel special.  
"You probably held the trigger too long, it released all you had."  
"Well, we need back-up, and Hanzo's off out of commission somewhere."   
"Well, now, what if I said he was right here?"   
I looked at him. I tried to give him a look that said " Don't tell Fareeha I'm here I swear to every god. " but he just smiled.   
"You kidnapped Hanzo?" Fareeha laughed, "Angela won't be pleased, she placed him in solitary confinement! What'cha doing in that ship, eh loverboy?"  
"Just, don't tell her, keep this between us. She'll kill me if she knew I had her prized patient. I want her to hear it from me, not your loud mouth. "   
"Kill you? Nah. She'll just interrogate you out of your mind and squawk 'tell me your feeeelings!'"  
"We'll be there for backup, but that means I'll have to bring in the aircraft earlier than expected, which means Talon will be swarming us from two places. The museum, and the restaurant behind it. I saw dropships floating around that area."   
"Mei and Angela are clearing some of that out now, but they won't be able to hold their own very long, so hurry."   
"Alright Fareeha, alright."   
"See ya ."   
Mcree sighed, "We can continue later, Darlin'. I gotta check the engine."   
He shoved open the aircraft's door, almost tripping as he tried swinging the bloodied scarf over his shoulder. He looked at me over his shoulder and gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up.   
He wasn't perfect. But he was perfect to me.

ANGELA

Mei killed, I healed. Isn't that always how it is? I was trained to do this, to help people. To heal.   
But, somehow, I couldn't get Fareeha to talk to me.   
And, somehow, Mei-Ling could.  
She impaled the last Trooper in the throat, "This area's clear, now. We should get Fareeha…"   
"Mei, I actually had a question."   
" Oh? Sure! "   
"How did you do it?" I said, I gripped my staff to my chest, "How is Fareeha so comfortable with you?"  
" I just talked to her. It kinda happened naturally. " Mei-Ling absent-mindedly turned some knobs on her gun, "I didn't try to, really, but maybe that's why she's being nice to me, now! I don't push her. I'm glad she's my friend now. "   
"Did she tell you about Ana? Her mother?"   
" Yes," Mei bit her lip, "but, I don't think she'd want me to tell anyone."   
"I've known her longer than you! It's a cry for help when people confess things to people they've just met. It isn't natural by any means."   
"I think she was just uncomfortable with what she did, Angela. I don't think she's using me."   
"She has to be, she can't just trust you!"   
"What's with you? " Mei crossed her arms, "I thought you wanted her to be nice to me!"  
" I didn't want her to spill her insecurities to you, not before she told me!"   
"Isn't your priority making sure people are in good spirits? If she's in good spirits when she's with me, shouldn't that be all that matters?"  
"You met a week ago!"   
"Well I don't try and pry insecurity out of people so that I can feel better about myself!" Mei shouted. Her voice echoed through the museum. She scoffed, but in an uneasy, sad way. "I'm going to tell her this area is clear."   
She left me in the museum. I didn't get it.   
Fareeha was sheltered, closed off. Her feelings, her true feelings, were always locked up. For Mei to have accessed them so easily, she would have had to have manipulated Fareeha.   
Or Fareeha never hated her in the first place.   
Fareeha pushed me away because she had a hatred for Mei, now she's pushing me even further away in favour of her?  
I walked into the dome of the museum. Bodies scattered the floor. Part of me knew that I could resuscitate them. I can resuscitate anything. Morrison always told me I was the glue that held people together. He always told me I was the best medical professional on the site. That he was happy I was there.   
None of my squad members seemed happy, though. They had gone off and found happiness elsewhere. Hanzo was the only one in my grasp, the only one who couldn't manage without me. I needed him to not be able to manage without me.   
I heard a dropship arrive outside, and rushed for my pistol before I heard Mcree's voice in the same direction.   
"Be careful…" he whispered, "I'on know if there's still Talon around."   
Who was with him? Why was he here so early?  
I heard his boots walk towards me, he slowed down once he noticed me, "Ah, Ziegler...hypothetically, how mad would you be if your patient ran off with someone else."   
"What? "  
"I just mean, Hanzo needed some compassion. He came out of his hiding spot, he came to me." Mcree grabbed at a dirty-looking scarf around his neck, "He didn't seem okay, Angela."   
"Hanzo is progressing into being happy, he's been with Blackwatch a few months, he won't be cured right away. "   
"I was scared you were gonna say that." Mcree sighed, he pulled a lighter from one pocket and a cigar case from another, "What Hanzo's got, it can't be cured. It can be treated, alleviated, but not cured."   
"So he told you?"   
"Yes. "   
I thought he was petrified of anyone but me knowing.   
"It's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's paranoia. " I looked at Mcree, lighting his cigar, cupping the flame over his mouth with his hand. Hanzo trusted this dirty degenerate over me? Me? "You won't be able to help him either. Just because your pasts are similar doesn't mean you know what's right for him. Why do you have an issue with me helping him?"  
"I care about him, and I know that the type of guidance you give would be better as a temporary situation. I understand why you're unqualified, you know? You work for Overwatch, you're not a therapist."   
"You can't take my patient, Jesse."  
"He needs medication. He needs actual help. Not some blondie in a coat that Morrison put in charge. I want to get him referred to an actual therapist. "   
"I have a PHD."   
"You're a surgeon."   
"And you're better for him? You? You can help him better than I have?"   
"Angela, you know I mean no harm, but the guy is shattered. It's better to clean up a mess and start anew than to try and glue a million pieces together. " Mcree pushed past me, rich, bourbon scented smoke trailing behind him, "I think he needs to explore other options, now."   
As Mcree left, Hanzo made his way through the museum, giving me a solemn nod as he caught up to Mcree.   
Everyone is happier without me now? Is that what this is? Everyone leaves Angela behind while they pursue bigger, better things? While they improve? While they get better? While they use the things I taught them and completely discredit me?  
I have to remember. Everyone has made irreversible mistakes this far. Everyone is flawed.   
Everyone but me.   
And if they won't let me fix them, they're better off dead.

FAREEHA

Mei held my hand in her mitten. I wanted to know why.  
I couldn't ask that, though. Exposing myself as weak? Some puny individual with useless feelings?   
Actually, maybe I wanted that more than anything.   
Maybe I wanted Mei-Ling to touch me forever, for whatever reason. Maybe she was my only escape from a life I constantly felt as if I had to fight to prove I deserved. I wanted her to ask me to leave. I wanted to leave this life with her. I felt so trapped. This life as a soldier I thought I wanted isn't what I want at all. She was the opposite of that. She was an outsider. She was the one who would help me out of this.   
I knew that wasn't realistic, though.  
We ran into the museum, Mcree and Hanzo stood waiting for us, standing awkward trying not to grasp at each other's finger-tips. Mcree, besides his nasty scarf, was cleaner than the rest of us.   
"Well, Amari, I can't say I can help you get a lesser punishment from Morrison, but I can get you out of Venice."   
"I'm ready as I'll ever be, pilot."   
"Alrighty then, let's get you lunatics outta here!"   
We ran through the museum to catch up with Angela, who immediately gave Hanzo his quiver back and gave us a run-down of our diagnostics. "Mei's fine, Hanzo's heart rate is up from when I last checked it, Fareeha is a little rocky, and Mcree is all good."  
"Will Amari be fine?" Mcree asked.  
"Just cover her.”  
We stepped past the bodies in the museum, just in time for a dropship to start dropping Talon Troopers, who began to shoot as soon as they jumped out their plane. We all scattered. Mcree and Mei got higher ground by heading up a flight of stairs, while Angela followed Hanzo and I behind a pillar.   
"I cannot protect you both." Hanzo scowled, "Not unless you have anymore secret missiles!"   
I smiled, "Glad that you and your secret boyfriend are back."  
"Guys! Shut up!” Angela whispered, “Talon Troopers are headed this way. I'll stay connected to Hanzo, Fareeha, for the love of God listen to me and stay hidden!" She had this glare in her eye, as if she were going to wrap her hands around my neck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ziegler so furious.   
“Yes, Doc.” I said.   
Her blonde ponytail bobbed as she followed Hanzo.   
Mei and Mcree kept their own, Mcree gave me agitated criticisms from across the way, "This is your fault, Commander! Making me get off my ass to help you with somethin' that should have been simple will be the last mistake you ever make!"  
"All our asses are on the chopping block for this, not just mine!" I looked around the pillar, Talon Troopers made eye contact with me, but were shot down before they stepped any closer.   
"Everyone makes mistakes, some just happen to be a bit more drastic." Mei said.   
Having someone defending me for once wasn't half bad.   
Sitting behind the pillar, my body still trembling from having rockets shot from what were essentially my clothes, it had me thinking about the worst parts of this mission. I came to the conclusion that the worst part was the Assassin. It made me shutter, knowing that someone behind a mask was screaming at me, blaming me. It was different when my fellow soldiers criticized me, at least I knew they didn’t want me dead for my mistakes. But the Assassin, her intentions were clear. She knew I killed Antonio, and if it weren’t for Hanzo, she would have ripped my heart out because of it.   
It reminded me of one time, back at Blackwatch. Morrison hadn’t ever dispatched me before, and I was getting ready for my first strike when the night before, I accidentally injured my trainer. It wasn’t much, a punch to the face. That’s at least what fifteen year old me thought until I saw blood streaming out of her nose.   
I thought I was supposed to hit her as hard as she hit me.   
She practically dragged me to Morrison’s office. I remember him yelling and yelling about how disrespectful I was, about how my last name was somehow a curse, how I was only good at making mistakes.   
He didn’t let me go on the mission.   
After that, I tried to spend most of my time proving myself, pushing myself harder and harder so that he would see I’m not just an Amari. I am stronger than my mother, stronger than anyone who had come before me. I would spill blood and not apologize for it.   
All because he yelled at me. All because he hurt me.   
When I was away from him, even now, I guess I still had that switch in my brain flipped on. I have to prove myself, to whoever’s around. Hanzo was never impressed, Angela usually would be, but she’s jaded currently, Mcree’s pissed, and Mei-Ling doesn’t want me to feel like I have to push for approval. What was so different about this mission compared to being at home? Why was there less pressure?  
I heard another heavy armour suit’s thundering steps, and when I peeked around the pillar, he saw me.   
Mei-Ling noticed his trajectory before anyone else, and started screaming for me to run. Mcree began firing at the Heavy’s head, only for it to spin around and begin firing back at Mcree. He ducked behind a wall Mei was creating as she was still giving me direction.  
“In the restaurant! Hide in the restaurant!”   
Heavy was preoccupied with trying to kill the cowboy, so I made a run for it.   
The restaurant was pitch black, and an omnic waiter stood, saying automated messages like “Would you like to hear our specials?” or “Happy Hour starts at 2:00 P.M!” I had the strongest urge to destroy the thing to get it to shut up, but that’d blow my cover entirely.   
I heard shots clatter against Heavy’s armor, just before they were drowned out by his own bullets. Heavy units were always slow, but this one sounded closer to the restaurant every step it took. I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard three continuous shots from Mcree’s gun, the last one shattering what sounded like the faceplate of Heavy’s suit. He fired another, and the buzz of Heavy’s suit stopped.   
They came on skiffs and aircrafts, from emergency entrances and sometimes, seemingly out of nowhere. Talon troopers were invading our every free angle, and the rest of my crew shot them dead.   
Here they were, cleaning up my mess, while I cowered in a corner.   
I felt like that scared little fifteen year old girl all over again. Crying and trembling in a dark room after having my flaws shoved in my face. This time, all I had was a gravel floor and gunshots to comfort me. It was only then I realised that I was crying now. I was coughing and wiping tears off of my face with a cold, metal glove. I couldn’t replicate the warmth of comfort for myself, I couldn’t. I kept rubbing my eyes and rubbing my eyes until the gunfire stopped, and I heard frantic footsteps come towards the counter I was hidden behind.   
“The skiffs have stopped comin’,” Mcree said, “...and I don’t hear anymore aircrafts. I think we’re clear, Commander Amari.”  
He looked behind the counter, and I looked back up at him. I wanted to shove the tears back into my eyes, or maybe drop dead right there so I didn’t have to see the way he pitied me.   
“Mcree!” I laughed shakily as I tried to stand myself and smile, “Are the others, uh, safe?”  
“Waitin’ on you so I can unlock the ship, so let's get a move on!”  
I chuckled as I watched him leave, then immediately wiped my cheeks of any wetness whatsoever and stumbled out of the building.   
Mcree opened every door on the aircraft, forcing us to hastily shove our equipment in the cargo hold. "If you don't hurry I'm leaving you behind!"  
He slammed the door of the cockpit and harassed us to get inside. Mei helped me in as she tossed her bloody mittens to the floor, which landed with an unexpected "splat!"  
When the doors shut, everyone was silent. Hanzo stared at me before finally breaking the silence, “I shouldn’t have blamed you for Bartalotti. You made a rash decision, but it was understandable.”   
Angela elbowed his shoulder, “Understandable? She killed the person we were supposed to escort out of here alive.”   
“Yeah, due to an emotional miscalculation. I thought you were a therapist!”  
“No amount of therapy can console or explain away what Fareeha did.”  
“Why are you being so frigid?” Mei mumbled, “What’s your deal?”  
“My deal?” Angela sat up straight, flashing an empty smile, “My deal is that we, Blackwatch, are no longer sacred. We were Overwatch’s backbone, Overwatch’s security.”  
“Maybe Overwatch should thoroughly inspect it’s recruits, then.”  
“Overwatch keeps this planet afloat.” Angela said, “The whole reason we’re in this mess is because Fareeha made an irreversible mistake.”  
“You only like this organization because it keeps money in your pocket!” I finally said, “It’s just a menial task to you. Your life isn’t in this.”  
“Excuse me?” Angela scoffed, “I like this place because I care about people.”  
“You care until they stop giving you sleaze to work with.”   
“I care until they won’t let me.”  
“Angela, you aren’t the best with other people’s emotions.”  
“Why has this turned into me getting harped on?” Angela balled her fists, she was practically yelling at us, “Angela the Doctor is the one who caused all this? Really?”  
“Can we just save the finger pointing for when we get back to Blackwatch?” I groaned.  
Angela looked me up and down, a gesture that made me feel as if she could see my soul. She stopped at my eyes.  
“Fine.” she said


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Jesse connect, Angela questions her role as a medic, and the strike mission concludes.

HANZO

Jesse Mcree, in that moment, was the only person I could say I loved.  
Although he was obnoxious, a slacker, disrespectful, disobedient, lacked focus, and insisted on smoking before and after strike missions.  
Details, details.   
Mcree was anxiously silent. I could hear his chair shifting rhythmically. He was uneasy, wasn't he?   
"Am I that intimidating? You're a mess, Jesse. You could have simply told me."   
"I was unsure! You could have been straight! I could be wrong about what I'm feeling! This isn't exactly easy?"  
"I'm not saying it would be." I said. I didn't really like not seeing his face. This felt informal. "Where are you?"   
"Same spot I was before, why?"   
"Stay there. I'm coming.”  
"What?"   
"This is a conversation we should be having in person."   
"This whole conversation should have been had in person! Ain't there Talon still roaming about? You could get hurt."   
"We killed everyone. Except for some room near the dock. It'll be fine! I'll be fine! I'm coming."  
"Hanzo, you can't just ignore-"  
"Angela has led me astray. I don't know what her agenda is, but I've made far more progress with you than I ever have with her. Maybe it's bias. Maybe it's because you're genuine. I just don't feel assured with her. And she sent me to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you."   
Mcree groaned, "I'm taking the aircraft half-way. Meet me at the dock, okay? "   
"I will."   
I kept recounting how stupid of a choice I was making as I crept around Antonio's estate. Talon Troopers were bound to see me. Bound to shoot. But I didn't care.   
Not in a degrading way, either. I felt like I could win a spar with them. I felt better. Then I began to wonder why.   
I didn't like flattery. I've never liked being complimented or having my ego blown up, not even by my Clan elders. Mcree's charm, it haphazardly seeped past my walls, sunk into my skin, and made me feel better.  
I still wasn't happy, but better.  
What had Angela done wrong? What had Angela failed to include in her big plan for me? Her wisdom that would lead to my recovery?  
Angela's mistake came when she assumed I could "recover".   
I pulled myself up the wall of the bridge, letting go and landing in one of the boats we had used earlier. I took the same path back, too. Was I really doing this? I had thought. I had nothing but reservations and a view of the water. What was wrong with me? What if this isn't catharsis? What if I get there and he rejects me? What if he's thought it over and he can't associate with me? What if he's just being nice?   
I was hesitant to trust his intentions, but I had already travelled so far.   
I made it to the dock, and I heard his copter in the distance.   
"Is that you? Damn, you're quick!"  
"You're slow. "  
"While you're down there being snarky, keep an eye out for Talon."  
I did, but by the time Mcree had landed, none had come.   
Mcree gave me an anxious nod as he stepped out of the aircraft. I didn't really want to believe it was him. If it was him, I'd know he sees me now. What some would call the real me. My biggest insecurity, my inability to be compassionate, it makes me wonder if I should be shown the compassion I deprive others of. When it's being shown to me, when people care, it sometimes feels as if the universe might be playing some big joke on me. Like the happiness and sense of belonging I feel will be proven to be temporary, and I'll suffer all over again.   
But he was here. Walking towards me, down the stairs of the aircraft, and pulling me to his chest.   
Pulling someone as undeserving and deceitful as me close to him.   
"You can stay with me, you know," Mcree let me go, but tensed, I couldn't tell why "If Angela's cast you aside."  
"I-I wouldn't go as far as to assume I've been cast aside…" I said, "but I'd like to stay?"  
"Alright! Yes!" He scanned the area nervously, "Can we go on the ship? If you don't mind?"  
He shuffled out of my way as I walked into the aircraft. I had never been in the cockpit before, nor had I ever really wanted to. Flying vehicles are death machines, It's a wonder as to why I even get into one for missions. The cockpit, though, it actually wasn't as scary as I had imagined. Mcree had personalised it with his belongings, it made it feel familiar.   
"Every mission, you just hang out here?"   
Mcree climbed into the aircraft himself, sliding a cover over the control panel and kicking his legs up on the dashboard, "Every once in awhile I get to show off my marksmanship, my talent. But most of the time I play the part of the crabby pilot. "   
"You're a marksman? "   
"Haven't missed a shot since I was eight." Mcree chuckled, "They didn't hire me for my pretty face."   
I remained quiet. It was odd. His voice intimidated me in person, after he had somehow pried open my psyche and peeked at my thoughts.   
He pulled at my sleeve, "Is this from...uh…"   
I looked down, immediately rolling my sleeve up, "Antonio? I don't know. Maybe, too much happened-"  
"Hey! It's okay, my point was just that-" he stumbled to reach a scarf that was shoved under the passenger seat, "-your face is covered in blood, and red ain't your color."   
He gestured towards my face with the scarf, and rubbed my cheek.   
"I suppose you do this to everyone you hit on."   
" Most of my suitors aren't covered in blood on the first date. "   
"Funny, I thought it was customary."  
"Hey! You got a little asinine humour in that head of yours?"   
"Of course."   
Each stroke felt gentle, almost like he wasn't wiping at all. The strokes were small, the fabric was soaked by the time He had reached the other side of my face. I tried not to notice.   
He smiled, then looked at the scarf, "I didn't get it all off, but, you look better?"   
I ran my fingers over my face. It was sticky, but the blood caking my face was minimal.   
He took the scarf and swung it over his shoulder. He had worn it often back at the Blackwatch base, but now it was wrinkled, ruined.   
I ruin everything.   
No. I thought. He chose to do that himself. He wants me here. I haven't ruined a thing.  
I looked up at him. He grabbed my hand, shaking his head and laughing, "I didn't think tonight would go like this. I thought we'd have Antonio tied by the wrists and en route to Blackwatch. I thought you'd still be cold with me." He squeezed my hand, "I'm sorry about, you know, making you talk. I'm sorry if you said more than you wanted to."  
" I don't think I've told anyone those things, besides my Clan elders and Angela. No one else knew. There's a risk to telling people, but it feels better, having it not be a secret. Having it not living in my conscience. I felt so unlovable because of it. I still don't know if I am lovable, but I atleast know I'm...okay in your eyes. And it's better than being uncertain about how people see me. One person's opinion just relieves something. It doesn't heal me, but it makes me feel accepted. Correct. Not broken."  
"You were never broken." Mcree said, "Damaged, but not beyond repair. Never a lost cause. No one's a lost cause. People who've made mistakes can still do good. That's really what I'm here for." He traced his fingers along my arm, "What's that mean?"   
"What?"   
"Your sleeve." he smiled, "It's intricate."  
"Oh."   
My tattoo. What was I supposed to say? "Ah yes, my tattoo I got to brand myself as part of the Yakuza!"  
That's exactly what I said, actually.   
"It's a Shimada thing."   
"Oh…" Mcree lifted his fingers off of it, "I just thought it looked quite nice. "   
"Oh, no, the artist did an excellent job. I don't regret having it on my body. I just regret what it means."   
"You could always reinvent the meaning." He said, "I got all of mine lasered off. They weren't as pretty as yours, though."   
"Reinvent? I don't know how I would get something so symbolic a new meaning. "   
"Well, just know I like it. Tied to your past or not." He took my hand and kissed it gently.   
"Y-you're bold."   
"You're kissable."   
He brought my face closer to his.   
Then static came from his intercom.   
"We killed Heavy! I'm out of ammo. I thought you said it would only use some!"  
Mcree sighed heavily, letting go of my cheeks but still holding my hand. It made me feel special.  
"You probably held the trigger too long, it released all you had."  
"Well, we need back-up, and Hanzo's off out of commission somewhere."   
"Well, now, what if I said he was right here?"   
I looked at him. I tried to give him a look that said " Don't tell Fareeha I'm here I swear to every god. " but he just smiled.   
"You kidnapped Hanzo?" Fareeha laughed, "Angela won't be pleased, she placed him in solitary confinement! What'cha doing in that ship, eh loverboy?"  
"Just, don't tell her, keep this between us. She'll kill me if she knew I had her prized patient. I want her to hear it from me, not your loud mouth. "   
"Kill you? Nah. She'll just interrogate you out of your mind and squawk 'tell me your feeeelings!'"  
"We'll be there for backup, but that means I'll have to bring in the aircraft earlier than expected, which means Talon will be swarming us from two places. The museum, and the restaurant behind it. I saw dropships floating around that area."   
"Mei and Angela are clearing some of that out now, but they won't be able to hold their own very long, so hurry."   
"Alright Fareeha, alright."   
"See ya ."   
Mcree sighed, "We can continue later, Darlin'. I gotta check the engine."   
He shoved open the aircraft's door, almost tripping as he tried swinging the bloodied scarf over his shoulder. He looked at me over his shoulder and gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up.   
He wasn't perfect. But he was perfect to me.

ANGELA

Mei killed, I healed. Isn't that always how it is? I was trained to do this, to help people. To heal.   
But, somehow, I couldn't get Fareeha to talk to me.   
And, somehow, Mei-Ling could.  
She impaled the last Trooper in the throat, "This area's clear, now. We should get Fareeha…"   
"Mei, I actually had a question."   
" Oh? Sure! "   
"How did you do it?" I said, I gripped my staff to my chest, "How is Fareeha so comfortable with you?"  
" I just talked to her. It kinda happened naturally. " Mei-Ling absent-mindedly turned some knobs on her gun, "I didn't try to, really, but maybe that's why she's being nice to me, now! I don't push her. I'm glad she's my friend now. "   
"Did she tell you about Ana? Her mother?"   
" Yes," Mei bit her lip, "but, I don't think she'd want me to tell anyone."   
"I've known her longer than you! It's a cry for help when people confess things to people they've just met. It isn't natural by any means."   
"I think she was just uncomfortable with what she did, Angela. I don't think she's using me."   
"She has to be, she can't just trust you!"   
"What's with you? " Mei crossed her arms, "I thought you wanted her to be nice to me!"  
" I didn't want her to spill her insecurities to you, not before she told me!"   
"Isn't your priority making sure people are in good spirits? If she's in good spirits when she's with me, shouldn't that be all that matters?"  
"You met a week ago!"   
"Well I don't try and pry insecurity out of people so that I can feel better about myself!" Mei shouted. Her voice echoed through the museum. She scoffed, but in an uneasy, sad way. "I'm going to tell her this area is clear."   
She left me in the museum. I didn't get it.   
Fareeha was sheltered, closed off. Her feelings, her true feelings, were always locked up. For Mei to have accessed them so easily, she would have had to have manipulated Fareeha.   
Or Fareeha never hated her in the first place.   
Fareeha pushed me away because she had a hatred for Mei, now she's pushing me even further away in favour of her?  
I walked into the dome of the museum. Bodies scattered the floor. Part of me knew that I could resuscitate them. I can resuscitate anything. Morrison always told me I was the glue that held people together. He always told me I was the best medical professional on the site. That he was happy I was there.   
None of my squad members seemed happy, though. They had gone off and found happiness elsewhere. Hanzo was the only one in my grasp, the only one who couldn't manage without me. I needed him to not be able to manage without me.   
I heard a dropship arrive outside, and rushed for my pistol before I heard Mcree's voice in the same direction.   
"Be careful…" he whispered, "I'on know if there's still Talon around."   
Who was with him? Why was he here so early?  
I heard his boots walk towards me, he slowed down once he noticed me, "Ah, Ziegler...hypothetically, how mad would you be if your patient ran off with someone else."   
"What? "  
"I just mean, Hanzo needed some compassion. He came out of his hiding spot, he came to me." Mcree grabbed at a dirty-looking scarf around his neck, "He didn't seem okay, Angela."   
"Hanzo is progressing into being happy, he's been with Blackwatch a few months, he won't be cured right away. "   
"I was scared you were gonna say that." Mcree sighed, he pulled a lighter from one pocket and a cigar case from another, "What Hanzo's got, it can't be cured. It can be treated, alleviated, but not cured."   
"So he told you?"   
"Yes. "   
I thought he was petrified of anyone but me knowing.   
"It's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's paranoia. " I looked at Mcree, lighting his cigar, cupping the flame over his mouth with his hand. Hanzo trusted this dirty degenerate over me? Me? "You won't be able to help him either. Just because your pasts are similar doesn't mean you know what's right for him. Why do you have an issue with me helping him?"  
"I care about him, and I know that the type of guidance you give would be better as a temporary situation. I understand why you're unqualified, you know? You work for Overwatch, you're not a therapist."   
"You can't take my patient, Jesse."  
"He needs medication. He needs actual help. Not some blondie in a coat that Morrison put in charge. I want to get him referred to an actual therapist. "   
"I have a PHD."   
"You're a surgeon."   
"And you're better for him? You? You can help him better than I have?"   
"Angela, you know I mean no harm, but the guy is shattered. It's better to clean up a mess and start anew than to try and glue a million pieces together. " Mcree pushed past me, rich, bourbon scented smoke trailing behind him, "I think he needs to explore other options, now."   
As Mcree left, Hanzo made his way through the museum, giving me a solemn nod as he caught up to Mcree.   
Everyone is happier without me now? Is that what this is? Everyone leaves Angela behind while they pursue bigger, better things? While they improve? While they get better? While they use the things I taught them and completely discredit me?  
I have to remember. Everyone has made irreversible mistakes this far. Everyone is flawed.   
Everyone but me.   
And if they won't let me fix them, they're better off dead.

FAREEHA

Mei held my hand in her mitten. I wanted to know why.  
I couldn't ask that, though. Exposing myself as weak? Some puny individual with useless feelings?   
Actually, maybe I wanted that more than anything.   
Maybe I wanted Mei-Ling to touch me forever, for whatever reason. Maybe she was my only escape from a life I constantly felt as if I had to fight to prove I deserved. I wanted her to ask me to leave. I wanted to leave this life with her. I felt so trapped. This life as a soldier I thought I wanted isn't what I want at all. She was the opposite of that. She was an outsider. She was the one who would help me out of this.   
I knew that wasn't realistic, though.  
We ran into the museum, Mcree and Hanzo stood waiting for us, standing awkward trying not to grasp at each other's finger-tips. Mcree, besides his nasty scarf, was cleaner than the rest of us.   
"Well, Amari, I can't say I can help you get a lesser punishment from Morrison, but I can get you out of Venice."   
"I'm ready as I'll ever be, pilot."   
"Alrighty then, let's get you lunatics outta here!"   
We ran through the museum to catch up with Angela, who immediately gave Hanzo his quiver back and gave us a run-down of our diagnostics. "Mei's fine, Hanzo's heart rate is up from when I last checked it, Fareeha is a little rocky, and Mcree is all good."  
"Will Amari be fine?" Mcree asked.  
"Just cover her.”  
We stepped past the bodies in the museum, just in time for a dropship to start dropping Talon Troopers, who began to shoot as soon as they jumped out their plane. We all scattered. Mcree and Mei got higher ground by heading up a flight of stairs, while Angela followed Hanzo and I behind a pillar.   
"I cannot protect you both." Hanzo scowled, "Not unless you have anymore secret missiles!"   
I smiled, "Glad that you and your secret boyfriend are back."  
"Guys! Shut up!” Angela whispered, “Talon Troopers are headed this way. I'll stay connected to Hanzo, Fareeha, for the love of God listen to me and stay hidden!" She had this glare in her eye, as if she were going to wrap her hands around my neck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ziegler so furious.   
“Yes, Doc.” I said.   
Her blonde ponytail bobbed as she followed Hanzo.   
Mei and Mcree kept their own, Mcree gave me agitated criticisms from across the way, "This is your fault, Commander! Making me get off my ass to help you with somethin' that should have been simple will be the last mistake you ever make!"  
"All our asses are on the chopping block for this, not just mine!" I looked around the pillar, Talon Troopers made eye contact with me, but were shot down before they stepped any closer.   
"Everyone makes mistakes, some just happen to be a bit more drastic." Mei said.   
Having someone defending me for once wasn't half bad.   
Sitting behind the pillar, my body still trembling from having rockets shot from what were essentially my clothes, it had me thinking about the worst parts of this mission. I came to the conclusion that the worst part was the Assassin. It made me shutter, knowing that someone behind a mask was screaming at me, blaming me. It was different when my fellow soldiers criticized me, at least I knew they didn’t want me dead for my mistakes. But the Assassin, her intentions were clear. She knew I killed Antonio, and if it weren’t for Hanzo, she would have ripped my heart out because of it.   
It reminded me of one time, back at Blackwatch. Morrison hadn’t ever dispatched me before, and I was getting ready for my first strike when the night before, I accidentally injured my trainer. It wasn’t much, a punch to the face. That’s at least what fifteen year old me thought until I saw blood streaming out of her nose.   
I thought I was supposed to hit her as hard as she hit me.   
She practically dragged me to Morrison’s office. I remember him yelling and yelling about how disrespectful I was, about how my last name was somehow a curse, how I was only good at making mistakes.   
He didn’t let me go on the mission.   
After that, I tried to spend most of my time proving myself, pushing myself harder and harder so that he would see I’m not just an Amari. I am stronger than my mother, stronger than anyone who had come before me. I would spill blood and not apologize for it.   
All because he yelled at me. All because he hurt me.   
When I was away from him, even now, I guess I still had that switch in my brain flipped on. I have to prove myself, to whoever’s around. Hanzo was never impressed, Angela usually would be, but she’s jaded currently, Mcree’s pissed, and Mei-Ling doesn’t want me to feel like I have to push for approval. What was so different about this mission compared to being at home? Why was there less pressure?  
I heard another heavy armour suit’s thundering steps, and when I peeked around the pillar, he saw me.   
Mei-Ling noticed his trajectory before anyone else, and started screaming for me to run. Mcree began firing at the Heavy’s head, only for it to spin around and begin firing back at Mcree. He ducked behind a wall Mei was creating as she was still giving me direction.  
“In the restaurant! Hide in the restaurant!”   
Heavy was preoccupied with trying to kill the cowboy, so I made a run for it.   
The restaurant was pitch black, and an omnic waiter stood, saying automated messages like “Would you like to hear our specials?” or “Happy Hour starts at 2:00 P.M!” I had the strongest urge to destroy the thing to get it to shut up, but that’d blow my cover entirely.   
I heard shots clatter against Heavy’s armor, just before they were drowned out by his own bullets. Heavy units were always slow, but this one sounded closer to the restaurant every step it took. I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard three continuous shots from Mcree’s gun, the last one shattering what sounded like the faceplate of Heavy’s suit. He fired another, and the buzz of Heavy’s suit stopped.   
They came on skiffs and aircrafts, from emergency entrances and sometimes, seemingly out of nowhere. Talon troopers were invading our every free angle, and the rest of my crew shot them dead.   
Here they were, cleaning up my mess, while I cowered in a corner.   
I felt like that scared little fifteen year old girl all over again. Crying and trembling in a dark room after having my flaws shoved in my face. This time, all I had was a gravel floor and gunshots to comfort me. It was only then I realised that I was crying now. I was coughing and wiping tears off of my face with a cold, metal glove. I couldn’t replicate the warmth of comfort for myself, I couldn’t. I kept rubbing my eyes and rubbing my eyes until the gunfire stopped, and I heard frantic footsteps come towards the counter I was hidden behind.   
“The skiffs have stopped comin’,” Mcree said, “...and I don’t hear anymore aircrafts. I think we’re clear, Commander Amari.”  
He looked behind the counter, and I looked back up at him. I wanted to shove the tears back into my eyes, or maybe drop dead right there so I didn’t have to see the way he pitied me.   
“Mcree!” I laughed shakily as I tried to stand myself and smile, “Are the others, uh, safe?”  
“Waitin’ on you so I can unlock the ship, so let's get a move on!”  
I chuckled as I watched him leave, then immediately wiped my cheeks of any wetness whatsoever and stumbled out of the building.   
Mcree opened every door on the aircraft, forcing us to hastily shove our equipment in the cargo hold. "If you don't hurry I'm leaving you behind!"  
He slammed the door of the cockpit and harassed us to get inside. Mei helped me in as she tossed her bloody mittens to the floor, which landed with an unexpected "splat!"  
When the doors shut, everyone was silent. Hanzo stared at me before finally breaking the silence, “I shouldn’t have blamed you for Bartalotti. You made a rash decision, but it was understandable.”   
Angela elbowed his shoulder, “Understandable? She killed the person we were supposed to escort out of here alive.”   
“Yeah, due to an emotional miscalculation. I thought you were a therapist!”  
“No amount of therapy can console or explain away what Fareeha did.”  
“Why are you being so frigid?” Mei mumbled, “What’s your deal?”  
“My deal?” Angela sat up straight, flashing an empty smile, “My deal is that we, Blackwatch, are no longer sacred. We were Overwatch’s backbone, Overwatch’s security.”  
“Maybe Overwatch should thoroughly inspect it’s recruits, then.”  
“Overwatch keeps this planet afloat.” Angela said, “The whole reason we’re in this mess is because Fareeha made an irreversible mistake.”  
“You only like this organization because it keeps money in your pocket!” I finally said, “It’s just a menial task to you. Your life isn’t in this.”  
“Excuse me?” Angela scoffed, “I like this place because I care about people.”  
“You care until they stop giving you sleaze to work with.”   
“I care until they won’t let me.”  
“Angela, you aren’t the best with other people’s emotions.”  
“Why has this turned into me getting harped on?” Angela balled her fists, she was practically yelling at us, “Angela the Doctor is the one who caused all this? Really?”  
“Can we just save the finger pointing for when we get back to Blackwatch?” I groaned.  
Angela looked me up and down, a gesture that made me feel as if she could see my soul. She stopped at my eyes.  
“Fine.” she said


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blackwatch team is reprimanded for their numerous mistakes. Fareeha faces Morrison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Thank you for reading.

MEI

It was a week after the Venice Incident.  
Fareeha had started coming by my quarters, apparently she felt uncomfortable alone with her roommate.   
Everyone knew what had happened. After everything we went through, though, the story was shortened, popularized by a specific headline of a specific news magazine, U.S Politics.  
BLACKWATCH: IN THE SHADOWS OF OVERWATCH.  
It wasn’t that bad of a headline, but it was worse when you read the article.   
OVERWATCH’S UNSANCTIONED BLACK-OPS BRANCH MURDERS ITALIAN PUBLIC FIGURE.   
That’s what had everyone on base upset. I saw Mcree ripping up magazine after magazine. No one was happy.  
Fareeha was lying in my bed. She had some cartoon show on the TV that she claimed she watched as a kid. She said it made her happy, but she couldn’t even look at the screen without crying.   
It was a weird change of pace. At first, she hated me, now she was crying in my room.   
Debriefings were that day. Hanzo had said they were more like interrogations. He wasn’t allowed in our quarters for about six days since we had gotten back. Angela had told Morrison in a report that he had attempted to get in the way of a sniper’s gunfire, something he admitted to be true. He was quarantined alone somewhere in the facility until he was “mentally stable”. Fareeha didn’t like the sound of that. I didn’t either.   
Fareeha had opened up more. She told me about her struggles with trusting Morrison, and not believing her mom was a monster, not in the way everyone portrayed her.   
“She couldn’t have sung me a lullaby, then went out and performed atrocities, you know?” She told me she would confront Morrison at the debrief, and that she needed me there in case things went sour.   
“I don’t know what he might do,” She said, glaring at the happy, animated animals on the TV, “...but I’m ready to take it and throw it right back at him.”   
Emily stopped by the door. Her bubbly tone from before seemed diluted, grey.   
“Morrison will see you now, Amari.” she said.   
“Can I have an escort?”  
“As long as you make it to your appointment.”  
Emily helped us out of my quarters and into the hall. She gave us what sounded like a scripted list of rules for meeting with Morrison. It essentially boiled down to “Don’t talk back.”   
“You think we’ll get fired?” I asked Emily.   
She shook her head, “Morrison had a seething hatred for Antonio. That’s all I’ll say on it”  
The black chrome walls transitioned to red once we hit where Morrison’s office was located. The door frame that encased two large metal doors was lit, and Emily punched a passcode into a control panel, and the doors opened to reveal his office.   
“Well!” Emily clasped her hands together, “Have fun, you too!”  
She scurried back down the hall.   
I heard Morrison’s voice, only just then realising that I was nervously staring at my hands.   
“That woman is more and more out of it by the minute.” He said, “‘Have fun!’ She must have lost all her marbles. I can’t blame her, though, not after what she’s been going through with Lena.” He cleared his throat, running his hand through his blonde, military cut hair, “Sorry, ‘Oxton’...but I digress. Shall we get on with this meeting?”  
Fareeha stuck out her hand, “We shall.”  
He shook it, “Good. Come on in.”   
His office was exceptionally clean, pens aligned on a desk, a legal pad with some noteS scribbled on it, all accessories had red and black motifs. He only had one chair out, and he looked at me like an outlier. And, well, he wasn’t wrong.   
“I wasn’t expecting you here, Zhou. I'm surprised you even feel comfortable around Amari.”  
“I have no reason to be scared.”  
Amari spoke up, “Can you get her a chair?”  
“I’ll do what I want, you are both under my jurisdiction.” He stopped glaring at me, sitting in his own seat behind the desk and examining his notes, “Mei-Ling can stand, It's what her legs are for.”   
Amari slumped down in her own chair, “She can have mine.’  
“Fareeha, don’t start.”   
“Don’t start what? Last time I checked, I was an adult. I can do what I want.”  
“Last time I checked, I was in command.”  
“All you care about is control, isn’t it?”  
“As if you’re any better.” Morrison snarled. He flipped his notes upside down, abandoning them. “Isn’t that why you killed Antonio Bartalotti? To feel control over the situation?”  
“I killed him because I knew you wanted him dead.”   
“That’s not what the mission called for, though, was it?”  
“You didn’t call me here to talk about that clusterfuck of a mission, though, did you? You called me here because you like yelling at me, or you like when I mess up. It makes you feel better about your own mistakes.”   
“I have a strong sense of self, a soaring self esteem, can you say the same for yourself?”  
“You hide in your office because your ego could clear a riot.”  
It was like someone talking to their reflection. You could tell Morrison raised her.   
“I think I better go…? " I side stepped towards the door. "This all seems very private, and I don't want to intrude on-"  
"Zhou." Morrison held his hand up, "I am unsure why you're here in the first place. Inform me."   
I looked at Fareeha. She didn't tell me not to say, but I had a good idea of how Morrison would react if I told him Fareeha "needed" me.   
"I didn't want to be alone in my quarters. Fareeha is the only person who makes me feel comfortable. She's strong, I admire her. "   
It was only half of a lie.   
Morrison nodded, "Then you can stay and feel protected. I can do two debriefs in one time slot. It kills two birds with one stone. "   
Hearing the word "kill" come out of Morrison's mouth is chilling, no matter the context.   
He tented his hands, "Now, enough about chairs and Mei-Ling's rather odd presence. I want to know what happened. " He sighed, picking up his notes and tapping his pen against the table. "Last Friday, we sent you Fareeha, Mei-Ling Zhou, Hanzo Shimada, Angela Ziegler, and Jesse Mcree to Venice. You were to escort Antonio Bartalotti, a known illegal arms dealer, shady businessman, and, of course, someone we suspected to have close ties with Talon. We expected him here the next day, but he never came. Instead, the crew arrived back empty handed, covered in Antonio Bartalotti's blood. Is this correct."   
Fareeha's voice cracked, "C-correct."   
“So, needless to say, you failed, correct?”  
“I-incorrect, sir. I didn’t fail at silencing him, weakening Talon, which is what we would have wanted.”   
"We? You mean what you think I wanted. "   
"Sure," Fareeha shrugged and threw her arms up, "And I know. It isn't what you wanted. What you wanted was to be listened to. Can we skip all the unnecessary back and forth and get to the part where you fire and-slash-or disown me?”  
“Oh, is that what you two were expecting?” He asked. He looked truly confused, and somehow amused at the same time, “What you did doesn’t warrant you being run out of Overwatch. I knew Amari was unstable, I mean, look at who your mother was—” Morrison covered his mouth instantly, his smile turning into a look of terror, “—That is to say...your mother was just as strong-willed as you are. Uh, a very objective woman.”   
“Something wrong, Jack?” Fareeha leaned over in the chair, “You and I both know what you’d say about her if Mei-Ling weren’t here.”  
He was phased, “I don’t speak ill of the dead, Amari.” He said between gritted teeth.   
“Uh-huh, okay.” Amari leaned back onto the two back legs of her chair, “There’s gotta be some sort of punishment for compromising the mission, right?”  
“I suppose I had a reasonable one in place.” Morrison cleared his throat again, but more out of distress than a call for attention, “You and everyone involved in the strike will relinquish your Blackwatch titles. You’ll be transferred to another department. I’ve referred everyone to the standard Overwatch strike division, as Field Commander, I have reason to believe they’ll trust my judgement.” Morrison grabbed Fareeha’s hand. The almost paternal gesture conflicted with Fareeha trying to squirm away from him. “You are damaged, Fareeha, but I will not throw you away.”   
A watch on his wrist began to beep. Both he and Fareeha stared at it.   
“A meeting with Hanzo?” She exclaimed, “Where is he? Is he coming here?”  
“Don’t get too excited.” Morrison sighed. He took his hand off of Fareeha’s and examined his watch, “I doubt you’ll see him on your way back. He’ll be welcomed back to his own quarters once Angela gives me the results of his wellness check this evening.”  
Fareeha got up cautiously, rubbing where Morrison had touched her hand, “I’m looking forward to it.”  
When I saw her face, she seemed even more upset than before. I tried to follow her out of the office.   
“Mei-Ling, stay here a second.” Morrison said sternly.   
I looked to Fareeha for approval. She shook her head.  
“With all due respect, I think I’d better get back to—”  
“It will only take a second.” He didn’t look up from the watch.   
He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Fareeha gave me a worried look before walking back down the hall.   
I took a seat in the chair in front of Morrison. This wasn’t my first time meeting him, but now, knowing his past, he felt less like a hero and more like someone I feared.   
“I’m going to cut to the chase.” He said, he slid a file to me, “You should leave your climatology job. Stay alongside Fareeha.”  
“What?”  
“Let’s be honest. She was the one who needed you here, right? She acts as if I haven’t known her since she was a child, but let’s be real. She’s a terrible faker.”   
“I don’t get what this has to do with me.”   
“She needs someone she can’t drive away. She needs some sort of order, something consistent. She’s never had consistency.”  
“But you just scolded her! I’m not some pushover…”  
He looked taken aback.  
I opened the file, it was transfer paperwork.   
“If you change your mind, you could easily leave Fareeha behind and go back to Antartica.”   
I stared at the paper. I didn’t want to leave my life’s work behind, not for Morrison. Not for bloodshed. Not for atrocities like the death of Antonio. Morrison was a good manipulator.  
I couldn’t leave Fareeha with someone like that, though. He’d already done so much to her. I’ve never seen her more uncomfortable than when Morrison’s hand touched hers. That alone was reason to believe she could be in some real danger. She didn’t need a savior. She needed a friend.   
“Okay. I’ll do it.”  
Morrison smiled, “Great! Mei, I am so relieved. Overwatch needs more people like you.” He handed me one of his neatly aligned pens. “Don’t fill it out until you’ve heard word that you’ve been recommended to the other department. It’ll probably come from Emily, so keep your ears peeled.”  
His watch beeped again. “Hanzo?” I asked.  
“Precisely.” He muttered.   
Shortly after, he dismissed me with an empty goodbye. I clutched the file to my chest as Fareeha met me halfway through the hall.   
“Did he-” She grabbed my hand, immediately shaking whatever she was going to say out of her head. “How did it go?”  
“He didn’t say much. I’m staying.”  
Her face lit up, and in a confusing turn of events, she hugged me. Tighter than I would have expected from her. She let me go, and she gave me a smile that could have left me breathless.  
“We should meet up later. I don’t want to be in your quarters when Hanzo comes back.”  
I sort of wanted to talk to her, ask her if she was okay.   
“Oh.” I said. I could bring it to her attention later.   
She hugged me goodbye and rushed back to her own quarters.   
As I stood alone in the hall, I noticed everyone staring at me. I was an outcast again, but now I wasn’t just new, I was a part of The Venice Incident. I was a part of history. I wished that someone could come from the future, or the past, and just rip me out of the present. I wish I lived in a world where Morrison was better, where Fareeha was better. Where Hanzo suffered less, where Ana and Lena weren’t so mysterious. I wished that I was just a scientist, just studying charts and climate.  
Wishing wouldn’t change much, though. I was stuck here. Stuck in a blizzard with no way out.   
I spotted Emily, who glanced at me and made her way over, “You’re as pale as an iceberg, Zhou!”  
I was still in a weird state of shock. I sighed, “I’m staying here. Not here, I mean, in the military division.”  
Emily gasped, her smile like pure sunshine, “Oh how wonderful! You’ll be a part of our family!”  
I remembered what Fareeha had said, about Overwatch and Morrison being all she had. I stepped past Emily, who was bubbly and confused.  
“Some family this seems to be.”   
Bartalotti was dead. This brought some unwanted attention, and everyone involved in the mission that led to his assasination was transferred. Blackwatch, shortly after, was disbanded. This left hundreds of specialists let go and unemployed, with only a select few being able to stay on Overwatch’s radar.   
A year later, omnic extremists Null Sector would rise, and that fight belonged to a hearty group of soldiers. Hana Song, an internet gaming personality with a military background, Olivia Colomar, a former Blackwatch “dataminer”, Jean-Baptiste Augustin, an ex-Talon operative, and a stolen, reprogrammed E54 unit. This crew would be overseen by Fareeha Amari, who would be ordered by Morrison to make sure all of Null Sector’s units were obliterated until they were nothing but scrap metal.   
After all that had happened, though, she didn’t intend on listening to him.


End file.
